WhaT tHe HeARt wANts

Honestly, I have heard this more times than I can stand. 
God knows my heart.   

It's not that I disagree. I was actually sharing a similar concept with the children in our Sunday School just this past weekend.

If your Samsung television goes on the fritz while you're watching your favorite show, you don't call your Ford dealer to get assistance. The manufacturer is always the best source of information and wisdom since they are the actual makers of the product. Who knows your heart better than the heart's maker? He does know your heart. He knows every thought, intent, and machination inside of it. Let that sink in for a bit.   

I know there are plenty of folks that get their advice from Dear Abby, the local fortune teller, or their best friend who just seems to know a little something about everything. But at some point, we all come to realize during our investigation of life's little mysteries, we could find it necessary to go directly to the source. You won't have to go anywhere else once that happens. You won't be placed on hold and transferred to another department that doesn't understand or is not experienced with your kind of issue. You may not like or enjoy the answer but you will get the correct diagnosis of the issue.   

Ask your friends if they ever heard the phrase "The heart wants what the heart wants". This is not a sentiment that I agree with for a lot of reasons. I know of a lady that really wanted a man to be her husband and she did everything within her power and means to have that man. She was successful. It just so happened that this same man was already married for more than two decades with multiple children. The heart wants what it wants, right? We don't need to look too hard to validate what we want and justify why we should have it. We can be as mean and cold and devious as the situation may require. As long as we get what we want, I suppose? This is just a worst case scenario that is practically a staple in our world. But how does this look within organization?  

Raise your hands if you're part of an organization. Everyone's hands should be up. We are all part of some kind of organization whether it be a school, a Fortune 500 company, a college or university, a biker club, or some sort of community based committee. We belong to something. Actually, it is important to many of us that we are involved in some kind of organization. It is good to be around like minded individuals who believe in something worthwhile and who think they can help make the world a better place. (I don't advocate extreme versions of any organization in that description. Just inching towards a larger overall point)

I am a part of several organizations and you know what I noticed? If the heart of the leader is not towards the people, it doesn't matter how many committee meetings you have, or how many events you plan, or how many teleconferences you have sit in on, you will not be able to convince the people who work hard and give their service diligently that the organization is going in the right direction. Many a great man have tried but you honestly can't delegate heart. You can give out tasks, duties, and assignment. Any good administrator can do that but you simply can't give somebody else something you don't have. You can't reproduce heart unless you actually possess some yourself. 

But that's exactly what many leaders of organization do. They say "get out there and show your stuff" but they cannot teach you. They say "I can't promote you until you meet criteria A, B, and C but your work duties and, largely, the work culture make meeting A, B, and C impossible. D and E might be available but they simply don't help you meet your goals. They tell you what you can do but, as leaders, they are ill equipped to help you get there. Still they retain the expectation that you should do so, just without their assistance and without infringing on their personal schedule. 

Do the cries of the people make you look up from your cell phone and acknowledge there's a problem? Do the outpouring of organizational voices compel you to adjust your rigid plan after years of failure have become your trademark? Does the needs of the community outweigh the personal aspirations and one dimensional views of one selfish man?

Have you ever had a leader that you have worked for or around for over a decade and he/she still doesn't know your name or find it profitable to look you into the eye and hold a 3 minute conversation with you? I have. Have you ever tried to connect with a leader in your organization and they won't look up from their Facebook page long enough to say hello? I have. How about a leader that believes their shack is a mansion and you are the hired help? I most definitely have. Working is not something that offends me. Having to use outdated, rusted tools to work when others are available offends me. This is symbolic of leaders without heart for the organization, the mission, and the people needed to carry it out.

The sad part is that the people are not as blind as these kind of leaders think they are. Just because they don't publicly voice their displeasure or speak through company surveys, they recognize that there is an empty space in the chest of the leaders where their hearts are supposed to be. It's only a matter of time before they decide to stop following. Anybody can give directives. Anyone can say what you need to do to be successful in only 5 easy steps.  Anybody can step back and blame the organization's lack of progress on your efforts and your failure to do more. In modern times, that's called a pyramid. What's really impressive is a leader willing to put his or her hands to the tough situations and grind until the situation is resolved. Those kind of leaders are obviously harder to find than ever. If you ever find yourself looking for competent and effective leadership in organization, don't look for the sound of a leader telling you what they are going to do or what you should do. Look for the leader that is actually putting their hands to the work and find their effort valuable and worthwhile enough that they will do it themselves if no one else will. That could be an example worth learning from. If you are a leader of people in any capacity, what does your heart want? Now ask if that answer is best for you or for others.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV)

TipPinG sCAleS

I don't know if this even moves the needle for you. You got a busy life and you got kids and the news is just a small appendage to the hectic lifestyle you lead. Occasionally you might hear about an event that tickles your fancy or you may hear about a tragedy that hits home for you. Maybe it makes you so uncomfortable that you change the channel to something funny or benign instead. You had a hard day at work. Who needs all that messy reality stuff, right? You might prefer the "other" reality TV instead. Oh by the way, did you hear that Becca is getting married again? Um hmm.

For the few of you that have a heart for community and humanity and fully recognize that any time and in any space in time, our lives could be irrevocably changed by a bullet fired on all grounds, a speeding car driven by a distracted teen, or turning on the kitchen faucet and seeing brown water, this might be just for you.

This isn't a discussion about whether there is equality in our world or not. That's a pointless argument. All you have to do is look around to get insights. All you have to do is converse with some of your city's citizens and actually listen to what they have to say to gain wisdom. 

There's no real surprises here except that so many just refuse to acknowledge what is clear, evident, and present in the every day. Some of us are privileged to get a free refill of coffee in places that's not normally allowed. Some are allowed to circumvent policies where others would be harshly rebuked, fined, or sanctioned. 

People have been fighting for equal rights since time began. Our history books are way late to the party. I can't even tell you that life is fair and in a level playing field, we'd all make the same decisions and ensure the same results or outcomes. I don't know. 

What I do know is that there is an elephant in the room and he stinks and he's messy. Ignoring the damage caused is a willful act. It's not neglect and it's not a case of being too busy. It's just two eyes that are uncomfortable with what they see and seeing means inherent responsibility and a simple human response to change that must be met. Most people just don't like accountability. If it can be free and easy without consequence, then it's much more desirable. 

You have more rights now than we've ever had in history. You have the right to pick up your remote control and turn the channel but incase you choose to keep it where it is, you might see what I saw on two local news broadcast in the city of Charleston, SC. 

Two children missing for a week with amber alerts. Only one has five minutes of coverage, and impassioned pleas of how much the parents love their children. 

Two families grieve the loss of family members gunned down in acts of random violence. Only one has eight minutes of coverage with eulogies, stories about how much the deceased means to the community from friends and family, testimonies from co-workers, politicians, and others, along with rewards and Go Fund Me accounts. 

Although this is about the news, it's not news. This is fairly standard operating procedure on many news broadcasts....in certain areas of the country. 

Is this a media issue, a financial issue, or something else altogether? What are you seeing in your city and the media's coverage of it? 

It's really beginning to appear that hearts of men and women are growing colder by the day. Close your eyes. Turn the channel. Look away. It's getting easier to insulate ourselves from truth. 

This isn't a rallying cry. I'm just asking some questions that I hope promote some dialogue and perhaps help us to understand and listen to one another. It doesn't affect you and maybe it never will but do we really want to wait until that impossibility becomes possible?  In the event I'm unclear, I'm saying there's a chance. Please share your thoughts, answers, and comments. Maybe we'll take a step up instead of a step back. 

"There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know." ~ John Heywood

DeaTH of A sPoRTs FanATiC

There will be a ceremony.
But there will not be a body in the casket.

There will be an epitaph.
But there will not be any need for flowers. 

The day is swiftly approaching. I can feel the winds of change blowing. I can sense the tide is turning. Only those that suffer the same "affliction" are in a position to understand.

Has it ever occurred to you to ask how a "sports fanatic" is made?
Despite the popular boasts on message boards around the world, they are not born from the womb. They are indeed made.

They're made from geographical and familial expectations and traditions. They're made from within marriages and long standing friendships. They're forged out of respect and pride and unseen obligations. Most sports fanatics are hard pressed to trace where their intense fandom even started from. They simply follow. Or blindly do so.

If you have known me for even a brief time, you have heard me speak passionately about the New York Yankees, Mets, and Knicks and NY area college basketball, all of which have begun to wane in interest as the years go on. But I have always been able to wax poetic about the New York Football Giants and the Michigan Wolverines. Out of all of my sports loves, these two have been a constant. I have held onto these with a white knuckle grip....until now.

Many of my readers will speculate as to the "why" but it doesn't have anything to do with anthem protests, touchdown celebrations, my teams' win-loss record, or Papa John's. I don't believe what I am about to say this but I am not as excited about sports as I used to be. I don't think I am a "fanatic" anymore. 

What does that word mean anyway? "It is a person filled with excessive and single minded zeal, noted by militant or extreme devotion."

That's what you see played out on forums and message boards when you make a disparaging comment about someone's team or their favorite players. You could like get death threats or be firebombed with obscenities and racial slurs. That's extreme. I have been known to get into intense verbal altercations about my teams and "First Take" has got nothing on the kind of battles we used to and still often have at our break room lunch table. We are engaged in fiery debate almost daily.

Winston Churchill said, "A fanatic can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Philosopher George Santayana said, "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim."

But something in me has definitively changed. Any one that is a fanatic of football will calm in demeanor in the off-season. That is normal but what I am experiencing is not. It used to be top priority to know what games were being played on a given night. I arranged the rest of my life to accommodate the viewing of sporting events. The time spent in my man cave watching sports was extraordinary and inordinate. It wasn't that I was not conducting a busy lifestyle. This sports lifestyle just meant more to me but that has changed. 

I have missed games last year and never careened off the side of the road, grabbing my phone to feverishly check scores. I no longer stay up late at nights in a dark room, gazing into my laptop to do fantasy football research to get a leg up on my peers. Most of my conversation with friends and family do not revolve around sports. I actually endeavor to spend time with my family and enjoy my downtime. I take classes to better my professional life. I meet with friends at the local coffee shop to talk shop or just connect. I actually make it a discipline to spend time reading, studying, and meditating on my Bible. I'm learning how to feed my goals even during my "free" time. I am growing up in a tangible way.

Many of my friends that wouldn't dare call me on a Sunday afternoon now know that I am available for them. They can barely recognize me now. I can barely recognize myself. Why am I sharing all this you might ask?

It's simple, at least, to me. If we're ever to truly evolve and progress, we have to be open to death. What has been the norm or the standard has to be pruned away so that the new growth can bloom. A seed buried in the ground doesn't remain alive there. If it did, it would produce nothing of value. That seed must die so that the new growth can take place and the tree can become what it is meant to be. So here I am, dying to a part of myself that I have literally fed or have been fed for nearly 50 years. Today, I am openly admitting "that person" no longer resides here. I still love sports and that is not likely to change but the fanatical side of me is dead. And I am happy to bury him never to rise again.

2 BleSSed 2 B StRessED

So um....how many times have you heard that phrase?

You can find it anywhere from a bumper sticker to a T-shirt. Know what else you can find? The stress you're too blessed to have. What does this phrase even mean? I have some questions.

When Joseph was thrown into a pit by his brothers and left for dead? Was he stressed?

When that same Joseph ran out of the Potiphar's house while his boss' wife screamed rape, was Joseph stressed?

What about Moses after traipsing around the wilderness with a bunch of ingrates who wanted to do some things to him? Was Moses stressed?

What about Jesus as they pounded metal spikes into his wrists and feet and spat on him and struck him repeatedly? Was our Lord and Savior just a wee bit stressed?

I believe I am a blessed man but I question if I am impenetrable against stress. I was on the way to work one morning. I was having challenges with my allergy since the pollen count was so high but nothing too extreme. One of my eyes began to itch slightly but nothing too out of the ordinary. I went into work same as I always do as one of my peers screamed out "What's wrong with your eye?"

Then another peer came over and said the exact same thing but with much more animation. I raced into the bathroom and half of my left eye was totally blood red. I busted a blood vessel somehow. I didn't feel anything or sense that I was tight about any particular situation. The medical term is a "subconjunctival hemorrhage". It looks scary but it should disappear within two weeks or so. That's not the part I want to draw your attention to.

Stress. Out of all the things that could've cause my eye situation, this is the one thing everyone that saw me diagnosed as the cause.

Stress. How does it look? How does it feel? What does it taste like?

Most people don't think it's possible to be stressed and not know it. I think it's a common thought to have some stress-related symptoms but not associate them with stress. You could be sad or angry about a situation and not associate it with stress. You just may focus on the person that is getting on your nerves. But while you stand slighted, part of you is being diminished. When stress is on the scene, you lose something. Stress causes disease and disease always takes no prisoners. It destroys everything in its path. Disease is ruthless, merciless, and heartless. It does the only thing it knows how to do: Obliterate.

My blogs are always full of personal anecdotes, pearls of wisdom that I am blessed to receive so I share them, and often some painful realizations that I come to privately but I share them publicly for the betterment of someone else. This time is no different.

I truly thought that all of the challenges I was dealing were given to the Lord. (See I Peter 5:7) I was wrong. I put all my stuff in the Lord's storehouse but since I had a key, the temptation to open the door and retrieve some of that same stuff was greater than I originally thought. I picked it back up again. I don't know where and when it happened but I must have. How else would I be stressed? I didn't fully trust God. That's the real truth. I tried to use my intellect and insights to "figure it out" and it cost me something. Something I may not be able to get back.

What could happen if we truly trusted in the Creator of every thing and less on what we think and what we believe and what we want? What would happen if we permanently cast all of our cares off of our shoulders? What if we legitimately trusted in God for everything? How different would our lives be? Would we be able to truly detect how blessed we are? Could we more than adequately explain why we are blessed and it goes beyond a t-shirt, a catchphrase, or a church membership?

If you are blessed, what does that entail? How does that state dictate how you treat yourself? Or how you treat others? How does it affect the way you pray? Or what you ask for when you do pray? If you are blessed, does it make you nicer? Does it make you stronger? Does it make you fearful of returning to a "non-blessed" state? Will it cause you to take more faith steps than normal? Lots of folks know what it means to be stressed but (it seems) not as many understand what it means to be blessed.

Like I said. I have some questions.

"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prospers." (Psalms 1:1-3 NIV)