ResT iN pEAce, MiCHaEL

This young man was what I would call an "old soul". 

It was extremely astounding to watch someone who could have easily been another statistic in a neighborhood that is known to swallow hopes and dreams whole come out alive but he did.

There was nothing fair about his life but I don't recall him complaining all the years that I have known him.

He said hello to people in a city that was notorious for being grumpy, closed off, and not at all friendly. He kept smiling and kept offering the biggest hugs to anyone who wanted one. He was trusting when there was no outward reason to be. He was eager to please and very motivated to receive affection and approval from others. The best description I can use for Michael is that he was "everybody's best friend". It wasn't until now that I asked myself why.

It was the one thing I never truly understood about him. I grew up with him in some of the roughest parts of the old neighborhood. Wherever I was, he was. We were as close as two people could be and that afforded me the opportunity to see some things I never noticed before. In some significant way hidden from the view of the onlooker, he was broken. I didn't know how or where it happened at the time but he was. He was literally taking his broken pieces with him everywhere he went. He covered contempt, anger, rage, low self esteem, and doubt with a smile and a hug. I don't want to speak for him but I think he tried to love all the ugliness in the world away with a hug. I think he hoped that would make him feel better in the process. 

Then the news came that his father died suddenly alone in his home. His daughter found him. It was a pity that Michael didn't know him well no matter how hard he tried. But Michael loved him and chased after him with a reckless abandon. Guess they call that in poetic circles "unrequited love". But that's when I saw it. The sole reason why Michael did everything he did and acted the way that he did that defied logic and reasoning. There it was, all laid out on a silver platter for all the world to see. There was a huge hole in his heart and he was trying feverishly and desperately to fill it. When his father died, not even three days later, Michael expired too. There was nothing to rally for or against. He ceased to exist because his whole life up to that point was merely a game of chasing shadows. He died chasing someone who either didn't love him or, at least, was unable to express that love in any tangible way. That was the legacy of his life. A sad and incomplete ending to what could have been an incredible comeback story.

But Michael is gone. Perhaps he never found the right "world" for what he had inside him. The world he lived in just didn't understand his way and his level of affection. It was too much, deemed unnecessary, or met with skepticism in the world he lived in. I am going to miss a lot of things about him but I am glad he's at peace. If I can be honest, the only reason he was here at all was to shine a light on a larger problem myself and others might not have seen: what it looks like when a father's love is missing from a son's life.

A lot of people, that didn't appreciate your hugs, your encouraging words, your poems, your songs, that big laugh, how freely you gave to others, and that big infectious smile then, will probably miss it now. You were living in an era totally unprepared for your special gift. Rest in peace, Michael. The world is full of sons just like you. Unfortunately.

ExTRa, EXtrA, ReAD aLL abOUt It

Well, the online world has done it again..........scratch that.....the online world is capitalizing on and growing due to what is already inside of us. Yeah, maybe the problem isn't everyone else after all. I don't know about you but it becomes increasingly difficult to read friends' posts and hear what seeps out of their hearts on the daily. I, for one, have been forced to re-evaluate my life choices.

If we are consistently passing blame onto others, we leave little time for self evaluation. We are distracted by the perceived attacks against us that we don't realize we could use some good old-fashioned crop failure in some areas of our own "gardens".

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce......" ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

The online world is reactive, judgmental, and headline oriented. Very few dig deep for the real story. We like what appears to be sensational and over-reaching and even explosive. That tantalizes us, draws us in, and makes us crave even more. It's an insatiable hunger that cannot be satisfied. And in all the melee, we don't even realize that we have become what we have claimed to detest. We are the judges. We are the antagonists. We are the hypocrites. We are just like the "them" we vowed never to become. Luke 18:9-14 gives us a great example of what that looks like and what the only real Judge thinks about it.

"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: God, I thank you that I am not like other people - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get. But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

Two men, both blessed enough to carry the breath of God in their bodies. Both in different stations in life and one with quite more advantage and opportunity than the other. The difference that matters to the Lord is the one that is not always seen with the naked eye. God is after the hearts of men, unconcerned with the attempts to self-elevate and make grand gestures to garner favor. Despite popular belief, we are not on the same page as the God we claim to follow if we forget this memorable passage.

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." (I Samuel 16:7)

We claim to have, or people that we like, have "good hearts". There's a passage that dispels that thinking too.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Just when you think we got it all figured out, we realize we don't know as much as we thought.

This piece is not written with the intent to get you to spend less time on the web and less time on your Facebook and Twitter pages. You can take all the selfies you like on Instagram. And you can give yourself reindeer eyes to your heart's content on Snapchat. The overriding point is that while we are entering into this world that seemingly has little rules and a low standard of decorum, perhaps we can consider holding fast to the profession we so often say we have.

I can tell you that we are wasting time and we could at some moment, find ourselves unprepared and on the other side of eternity. I could say that you could have years of training and education and degrees in divinity and the one moment you decide you will not help someone you deem undeserving could be the deal breaker. I could say that before we press "Send", maybe we should take twelve hours, or 24 hours or whatever it takes to be sure that these words we release into the "always" is what we want attached to us for our kids and grand-kids to see.


I'll leave this to your consideration. To those that try to espouse positive messages and promote things that edify and encourage, I say "Thank you." You are probably feeling lonely and unappreciated and you might be wondering why you should keep doing what you are doing. Someday, somewhere, in some part of the world we live in, someone will look past the scathing headline and actually read the content. Someone will scroll past the clickbait and thirst traps and look for something that feeds the need they have and presents itself as a salve for the wounded hearts. Someone might even respond with a "Thank you" themselves. Some may not have the heart to respond in any form. Keep the momentum and don't quit. The world is inundated with so called "news".

I fully intend to take my own advice. So you are not at all alone. Godspeed!

ThrOUGh ThEse sTOrmS

A common phrase that, like so many others of its kind, loses it value and relevance because it is so irresponsibly tossed around and often misunderstood.

You know what a storm is and you have been in many natural storms, especially if you live anywhere in the USA. You know the rain, wind, hail, lightning, thunder, and snow are all elements of what you have experienced. The kind of storms I am talking about are similar except that they can't be avoided with an umbrella or finding your way under some kind of shelter. These kinds have to be endured until they pass over.

Through these storms...........you are going to get wet.

Through these storms...........your vision may be impaired.

Through these storms...........you may need more time to get to your destination safely than what you planned.

Through these storms...........the "clothes" you enjoy wearing may get damaged and you'll need new ones.

Through these storms..........you may become better evaluators of true value when you find it. What was lost might not be as valuable as you originally thought.

Through these storms...........the foundation of every relationship you're in will be revealed.

Through these storms...........it will be really difficult to see the Sun (Son) and blue skies.

Through these storms...........you will discover greater opportunities for "alone" time.

Through these storms...........you may lose your balance and fall down but you can't stay there.

Through these storms...........the temptation to make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation is greater.

Through these storms...........you will hear many voices but you're not insane, just at a critical life-stage.

Through these storms...........the sounds of the storm might be louder than the storm's actual impact.

Through these storms...........you will find out just how strong you are and still you won't be able to take full credit. All the glory belongs to God.