thE QuiZ tHAt GoeS PoP

The blog is beginning to grow in readership and that is thanks to you so THANK YOU for subscribing and for following us.

I want to start implementing some new ideas for how to make the blog better. That's always possible! So I thought that we would veer away from the serious, thought provoking topics and just have a little fun today.

Who's game for a pop quiz?

I am going to give you seven different questions with five choices each. The options consist of three false statements and two true statements. See if you can find them. I will answer the questions in the comments if no one guesses all five.

If you like this, perhaps we can make this a regular thing or mix it up for some light-hearted fun. Thoughts? Let's jump in.

WHICH ARE THE TWO TRUE STATEMENTS IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING?

A

1. I had a small role on the now defunct NBC soap opera "Search For Tomorrow".
2. My favorite TV show in the 80's was Manimal.
3. I did a commercial for Coca-Cola when I was nine years old.
4. My first audition as an actor was with the ABC's daytime serial All My Children. I walked up to the building and left.
5. I could skillfully play every soap opera theme song on the piano in the 80's.

  B

1. As a courier, I once delivered a package to a big record executive and I tried to get him to hear our demo. He slammed the door in my face.
2. Our singing group played our demo tape and sang acapella for the late Jam Master Jay of Run D-M-C. He gave us tap water to drink then he passed on us.
3. I used to play the guitar professionally but I just stopped and never played again.
4. I played drums in high school in the school band for two years.
5. I drank Kool-Aid at R&B legend Angie Stone's house during a meeting before she started her solo career.

C
1. I tried to teach myself the piano more than 15 times.
2. I was tossed head first into a swimming pool and was briefly unconscious so now I don't swim.
3. I blamed the legendary Charlie Wilson for the end of my music career for years.
4. I mistakenly walked into gang territory alone and was nearly murdered.
5. I have been to thirty major sporting events in my lifetime.

D
1. Orange is my all time favorite color.
2. I sung background for Mariah Carey, Yolanda Adams, Israel Houghton, and the Crabb Family, among several.
3. I've been to more than half of the fifty states in this country.
4. I got Queen Latifah's home phone number and called her early in the morning, waking her up, to ask her if she'd listen to my group's demo tape.
5. I'm a proud Eagle Scout.

E
1. I witnessed a hit and run but never reported it out of fear.
2. I'm allergic to both Peanut Butter and Nickel.
3. A girl I was falling in love with was allegedly murdered by her parent (s).
4. My best friend growing up was a professional boxer.
5. I was signed to an independent record deal as a singer/songwriter and recorded a full album.

F
1. Some of my best friends were members of the legendary singing group, The Force MD's.
2. My first paying job was at Burger King as a fry cook in downtown Brooklyn.
3. I was very close to trying out to become a professional wrestler.
4. I played in sixteen fantasy football leagues at one time during a season.
5. I was robbed at gunpoint on multiple occasions.



G
1. The first instrument played was a clarinet and I was a member of an orchestra for one school year.
2. I used to be able to make shots from anywhere on the basketball court.
3. I served six years in the Army National Guard.
4. I was a drama major in my high school and starred in several school productions.
5. I am considered to have photographic memory.


I'll post the answers in the comments every where this blog is shared on either Facebook or Google Plus. And I would be happy to clarify any answers if needed. I'm sure there will be questions. Happy Hunting!

THANK YOU again for subscribing and for following us. We appreciate you and if you got ideas on some fun things or thought provoking conversations you would like us to have, please send us your comments on Google Plus, Facebook, or the Twitter. Have a great day!

ThE BloG wiTH No NaME

I would like to share with you, my friends and family, some segments of a recent personal study that relates to identity crisis. I'm sure when you hear those two words, you feel like you have an idea of what it means. Maybe what immediately springs to mind is a much older man with a shiny Red Lamborghini and a toupee. That's what television has taught us is someone that has an identity crisis. Victims of this malady look a lot more like us than what we previously thought.

So what is it exactly?

The Merriam Webster dictionary describes an identity crisis as: "a feeling of unhappiness and confusion caused by not being sure about what type of person you really are or what the true purpose of your life is; confusion about one's social role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one's personality."

So if we are to believe this definition to be accurate, how can a friend, family member, or associate, or worse, someone you don't even know validate your identity. How can "who you are" be so interwoven in "who they are"?

If we are accepting the above definition, that's impossible and unreasonable.

If you ascribe to the Bible as being truth, then Jeremiah 17:9 should be considered accurate and also further cement the point.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (KJV)

Now what does the heart have to do with identity? Well, kinda everything! Who you are determines what you do. If you are inclined to follow Christ in all your ways and efforts, it flows out of you through praise, service, humility, and worship. If you desire the world's offerings and see that as who you are, then you reflect that in every aspect of your life. The news, what people think of you and how many friends you have equate to how your day will go and how much value you think you have.

What you felt in your "heart" was the reason you did most of the stuff you did in life. When you drifted towards drugs, it was in your heart. When you cursed God, it was in your heart. When you hated someone because of how they treated you, it was in your heart. When you decided to receive the Lord as Savior, it was in your heart. When you married who you married, it was in your heart. When you decided to have to set a goal in a certain field of study, it was in your heart. When you made a huge financial investment, it was in your heart. When you refused to forgive someone that hurt you, it was in your heart.

And still the Bible, which 2 Timothy 3:16 says is "profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, and thoroughly furnished unto all good works", says that the heart is more deceitful than anything else and incurable. Wow.

When Cain lifted up that rock over his brother Abel's head......When Moses, who although born Jewish but raised an Egyptian, had to stand up for a people he didn't know against a people he knew well.......When Esau traded his birthright to his brother for some soup......When Rachel gave her servant Bilhah to her husband, Jacob to lay with so she can get a leg up on her sister, Leah.....When that husband decides that since my wife is not responsive to me, I need to find someone who will be......When that wife says that since my husband won't give me what I want, I will not give him what he wants from me.........When that employee, who feels that the company doesn't look out for his best interests decides to take some supplies home as re-payment......

These are the afflictions of this heart. These are examples of a crisis of identity. 

Cain clearly didn't understand his worth and value.

Jacob and Esau made really bad compromises because what they wanted super-exceeded what was most valuable.

Rachel, in Genesis 30:8, felt that she was wrestling with her sister and won the battle and named her son as a symbol of that "victory". Was her purpose to be in a battle with her sister for their husband's affections or was that just a distraction from where her affections needed to be?

When you are challenged with understanding your identity, your focus is in the wrong place. And everything you attempt to build and accomplish will become of no value to you or anyone because it stems from an unhealthy, unfruitful place.

Besides being the wife of Jacob, the sister of Leah, and the daughter of Laban, who was Rachel? What was her purpose? Why was she graced with life and breath?

Have you ever looked at yourself in these terms? 

I am the parent of ...

I am the husband/wife of .....

I am the manager at ....

I am an associate at ....

I am the brother / sister of ...

I am the teacher at .....

It's clear that we can think relationally because those terms are how we see ourselves and what we think about when asked "who we are". We know our names, our addresses, and we know what kind of background we come from. We know all the hurts by name. We remember the pains like they happened yesterday. We wear the betrayals like a piece of jewelry. We know it all it seems. So why can't we engage relationally with the only One that can validate our identities? The only One that can effectively and accurately answer the question of "What type of person you really are" and "What the true purpose of your life is"? Wherever the Author is, every answer to who you are lies with Him. It would make sense that we cling to that valuable source of information but we don't. We instead try to find ourselves in the glimmering reflection of how we look in other peoples' eyes. Our friends. Our family members. Associates who seem to have it all together. Media and entertainment that says if you want to be happy and whole, eat this and wear this and talk like this and surround yourself with this.

People who don't have a firm grip on their identity make permanent decisions based on temporary situations. Like Rachel and Leah did in naming their children for example. Or how Cain responded to his jealousy with anger. Or how Esau willingly gave up the permanent for the temporary because his flesh was weak.

When we don't have a clear understanding of our identity, we don't tackle the issues in our generation and the next generation will be forced to deal with the full brunt of it. That alone should be enough encouragement to deal with our "stuff" straight away!

You can't truly love God and His people if you don't love yourself. And you can't love yourself the way you need to if you don't firmly understand your identity. It comes out into all of your relationships. You place impossible standards on your friendship. You harbor a poor self image. You carry guilt and shame. Your version of love looks more like manipulation. You create unfair expectations on yourself and expect others to live up to them too. It's unhealthy and it stems from our inability or unwillingness to fix our focus on the one who gives us our identity in the first place. We simply make a mess of our lives and that of those around us that we care about. We box with shadows and grasp at the wind. We lack stability and security, authenticity and peace. God loves us too much to leave us in a state like that. 

Colossians 3:1-4 says "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."

There are plenty of keys to our identity in the Bible but this passage has a few.

1. "If then you were raised with Christ" asks if you were connected with Christ and that we walk in obedience to His word and after the pattern of His life on earth, where we look to a Kingdom to come but also have a sacrificial, unconditional love for His people. This asks us have we overcome the world like Christ has or does the world daily overcome us?

2. "Seek those things which are above" reminds us to think about the home without a number on the front steps or over the doorpost. Bear in mind that the place we are in is temporary and is not indicative of who we actually are. We should make heaven our aim because no matter how long we lived "down here", we are actually true residents of citizens of "up there". Now we have to live every day with that goal in mind which would be the stark opposite of everything we learned prior and every ideology and mindset that is around us.

3. "And your life is hidden with Christ in God" speaks to the new man that is forged in Christ Jesus when you receive Him as Lord. It is the core of our identity. It is more defining than your name in the marketplace and your clothes you wear or your status in the community. It is the only thing that doesn't fall away when all those other things do. It speaks to a security that we often still search for. Our lives are laid up safely in Him when we accept Him. Everything vital about who we are is locatable in Him. Every answer. Every wisdom. Every hope.

So the identity we are searching for is firmly wrapped up in Christ. We can't find it in our friends or family members who believe they have us figured out. We can't find it in associations and organizations that gladly use our talents and other abilities but cannot fill the voids within. We certainly can't find it in the world's model of how we should look, act, speak, think, or assess value to self. We will always come up empty when that's our motivation. 

Moses was smack in the middle of an identity crisis with his Jewish heritage and adopted Egyptian privilege but he came face to face with his identity when he came face to face with the Author of his identity. That's when he truly found out who he was beyond family affiliation and cultural heritage. He discovered where he truly came from.

Imagine what this world would be like if everyone in this world had that opportunity. We don't have to imagine it because they do.

iTs A diEHarD LiFe

This will be the toughest piece I've ever written because I have struggled with this for years and to be totally transparent, I have not been completely honest with myself or my friends. If you don't care about sports then you won't find this interesting. If you care about me, it could be a teaching moment. Lots to digest here but I humbly solicit your input. This isn't my normal way of tackling a situation but you could help a lot and my goal is to gain perspective.

I was born and reared in Brooklyn, New York. I spent the majority of my life immersed in New York sports. NFL's New York Giants and the New York Jets. NHL's New York Rangers and the New York Islanders. NCAAF's Rutgers Scarlet Knights. NBA's New York Knicks and the New Jersey (now Brooklyn) Nets. NCAAB's Buffalo Bills. Syracuse Orangemen, UCONN Huskies, and the St. John's Red Storm. Colgate Raiders Track and Field. And MLB's New York Yankees and the New York Mets. If it was New York, we rooted for them. Period! No questions! It was a major part of my daily conversation and usually a huge proponent of the arguments I got into. It was on the vehicles that passed me on the streets. It was on the sports apparel of the city's citizens that brushed past me on the subway platform. It was on flags, billboards, and on my television screens. It was intertwined in my upbringing. It became something fiercely defended on the drop of a dime! I should have been focusing on Social Studies and Mathematics but I was well versed in New York sports. It was what I thought about on the bus ride home from school, while I should have been doing my homework in the evenings, and the primary factor for whether I had a good weekend or not.

I was raised in an unapologetic "All New York sports" household. What that meant is that we actively rooted for every team that was associated with the Tri-State area, which meant New York (city and state), New Jersey, and Connecticut. We were New Yorkers and that was the way I was taught. Fiercely loyal, eye popping insanity when we win and days of mourning if we lost. That was our way! I remember a few times that I made critical statements to make about a few of these teams and my mother was incredulous. I can't recall her exact words but the responses were in the "Well, it doesn't matter because that's our team so we support them no matter what!" category. That's where this saga probably begins.

Growing up, I was watching both Yankee and Met games. The Nets and the Knicks. The Jets and the Giants. The key to all this angst might have been in the fact that I was a fan of the league and the sport before I adopted a favorite team. I was a fan of the MLB
before I gravitated towards the Mets. I was a fan of the NFL before I clung to the Giants. I was enthralled by the Orange Crush, the Purple People Eaters and the Steel Curtain before 1983 when I said "I Do" to Big Blue.

The honest reason why I ever decided to choose a team from the New York sports team family was because of peer pressure and some intimidation as a young kid. The rivalries in the eighties that picked up steam (even down to the high school and college ranks in the city) played a part. There is a lot of tension when you're standing between two friends, one roots for the Knicks and the other roots for the Nets and they're asking you who you like. In your head, your response is "both" but you know that answer puts you in a different category. Probably the same category the rabidly faithful sports fan would put you in today if you answered that way. Saying "I like them all" in some areas I grew up in could result in a different, more negative reaction and it did a time or two. Fear played a small part but my independence and need to carve out my own path forced me to make most of the calls that I did. In hindsight, it was important in my youth that I made a decision than if the decision I made was a good one. Think about it. Some of these teams were awful back when I was younger.

NHL: Hockey was on in my household but I never developed a love for it. Probably because I couldn't see myself in that sport. They didn't play it in my neighborhood and nobody that looked like me played it on TV. I watched a Stanley Cup final games in 1994 and 2014. The Rangers and the Islanders were barely a blip on my sports radar. I am a casual fan of the NHL to say the least.

NCAAF: NBC gets all the credit (or blame) for this one. Living in Brooklyn means that you are not likely to have a high quality college team in any sport within your reach. I am a casual watcher of the Scarlet Knights but the Saturday coverage of college football in the eighties was normally a toss-up between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Michigan Wolverines. Blue was my favorite color. I hated leprechauns! End of story! I have been following and rooting for them since the early nineties and have never left. I would consider myself a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. Michigan or bust for me!

NCAAB: When I lived in the NY Metro area, I watched St. John's, UCONN and 'Cuse regularly during the season. Leaving the area left me watching more box scores than actual games. This caused my focus on them to wane and now I am relegated to excitement for their appearance in the March Madness tourney. Of course, I am going to root for them every time. I can't call myself a diehard but I do actively root for these teams with 'Cuse at the top of the list. I'm a fan of the Storm and the Orange but wearing all red and all orange doesn't go with my eyes. See you in March!

NBA: It has been the New York Knicks from the beginning and I was a diehard fan for over 30 years. I honestly don't know what to call myself now. Basketball as a sport has faded from my interest. It actually is hard to watch for me and the ownership of the NYK has made it nearly impossible to enjoy. 
I'm off the diehard bandwagon. I'm still a fan but I watch too casually to be considered a candidate for their #1 fan award! Thank you, Mr. Dolan. After our 33 year staring contest, you finally made me look away!


NFL: This is the most clear cut of all. I am a diehard New York Giants fan. My family has launched out into other areas particularly my mother and middle daughter who are strong supporters of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Part of my ManCave is dedicated to this team in respect to that but that's as far as I can go. I watch some of their games and the Steel Curtain has a special place in my heart from my youth but I am not a diehard Steelers fan. For me, there is not other football team that can replace Big Blue in my heart. (As a New Yorker, it was taught that I should root for the New York Jets too. I reject that teaching and in my mind, the franchise doesn't even exist except to borrow our arena from time to time. LOL.) I eat, sleep, and breathe BLUE. Whether they changed owners, moved out of town, changed divisions, and replaced the entire roster top to bottom, I am a New York Football Giant fan for life! GO BIG BLUE!

MLB: This one is the most difficult because even though living in the ghetto and baseball was not the sport encouraged by parents and sought after by young inner city kids, it was the one I first fell in love with. I was enamored by Rod Carew, Willie Stargell, Dwight Gooden, Lou Whitaker, Rickey Henderson, and Ozzie Smith. I couldn't do anything when a baseball game was on TV. I loved baseball first and that meant the Yankees and the Mets. I loved them both and am very well versed in their history. I had to physically fight because I loved both teams. I immersed myself in their history, greatest moments, player names and stats, etc. I knew all about them and I wore it proudly. Pinstripes AND orange and blue. When the national perception going into the nineties that the Steinbrenners were willing to buy championships hit the fan, I took that hard for some reason. They would do so at the expense of their farm system and luxury taxes and were successful and that bothered me. The fact that famous celebrities from around the world would wear Yankees blue as fashion statement and not even care about the team said something about the franchise in my opinion. It seemed to me at that time that it was more important to be known as the best than to work hard to become the best. That was something that morally caused me to drift away from the team. I began to lean towards the underdogs in Queens who always grinded and fought hard but often not winning. That was two years before their stunning 1986 World Series Championship victory and for me, it legitimized the fact that this team matched my character. In my life, I had to fight for everything and nothing was handed to me. The Mets just seemed to be more like me than the Yankees at that phase of my life. Both franchises have changed a lot from 80's versions of themselves and my feeling about them have changed some too. I never hated the Bombers no matter how often Met fans wanted me to. They were more like the wayward sibling who drifted away from the family who you longed would come back home. I love baseball and the Bombers and the Amazins are a HUGE reason why. Frankly, they still are. Am I a Mets diehard when I still like the Yankees? You can be the judge. If I have an opportunity to root for a New York team and my team is not the opponent, then it's academic. I used to be ashamed to say that but no longer and not ever again. That may not be modern but that's where I am and it feels great to be unburdened.

Update: Last year, my mother has called me and inexplicably asked me if I was watching the Patriots game and then called another time to ask me if I was watching the Eagles. Neither team was playing the New York Giants. I got no words! *shrugs* This is my life! LOL.

That's my story.


WHAT DO YOU THINK? 

What is your definition of a diehard sports fan?

How does family influences, school affiliations, and geography play out in your personal scenarios?

Who is the team (in any sport) that you secretly root for?

Are you able to equally love two teams in the same sport?

Were you a fan of the sport first or the team first?

Are you able to like two teams who co-exist in the same city and the same sport?

Have you ever went away from affiliations that were a staple in your family growing up? What was the reaction to that decision?

What scenario would have to happen to make you permanently disconnect from your favorite team?

Is there anything that could make you lose interest in the entire sport?

nOT aBOut Me

There's a saying. I'm not sure how old it is but I believe it's deadly accurate.

People come into your life under one of three conditions:

1. A reason

2. A season

3. A lifetime

Now you can go onto your average social media timeline and see stuff like that all the time. It's not even hip or fashionable anymore. It's not likely to be a T-shirt that many people will buy. It's the truth but it's not something many like to hear. Probably because people just don't like to be placed in categories. It's uncomfortable. It's unsettling. It perhaps even breeds contempt and makes people unhappy. That's not my truth. That's the truth.

In the days of the Tabernacle in the Bible, how do you think the people in the Outer Court felt when certain people were able to go into the Inner Court but they could not enter. Many of us know the reason why but it still didn't feel good I'm certain.

"Why do they get to go in but we can't?" was probably a question asked.

They even asked how a carpenter's son from Galilee was able to perform miracles and have fame attached to His name. 

"What made him so much better than us?"

Hmm... The answer is a lot deeper than He is God's only Son. That very uncomfortable thing that we don't appreciate when it happens to us is something that we do to everyone. It's ok. You can read that sentence again. It wasn't a typo. Putting others into categories and prioritizing who is important and who is not is something we don't like being on the other end of but we do it. And we do it a lot.

Recently, I took a huge step of faith and put myself into a situation that I had not done in nearly a decade. It was a bit frightening when I sat down and thought about it. I didn't feel any semblance of comfort or ease. I saw about nine reasons to back out of this but I didn't for some reason. Throughout the arduous mental process, I asked myself why in blue blazes did I decide this. What was I thinking? Maybe I was trying to prove something to myself or maybe I wondered if God was still with me in that regard. Maybe I was just tired of being an outsider in so many places in my life and I sought the camaraderie and support that was sorely missing. Maybe I just wanted to be appreciated. Lots of maybe. Some accurate, some on the fence of what is real. Either way, it was important enough for me to share this very uncomfortable opportunity with my "friends".

There is a little history on social media of my use of the term "friends". It wasn't popular and it was the catalyst for some tense moments. Some people are upset and felt slighted by its use. To say they were uncomfortable was an understatement. There's that pesky word again. I used it to describe the people in our online experience that were there casually. They may have been a part of your life experience, whether it was high school, college organization, work, or church but they were never (for whatever reason) amenable to the idea of truly being your friend. See? No finger quotes. It's the authentic version.

In doing this, I realized that I was categorizing where people were in my life. At the time in my life when I did this, it was absolutely necessary in my mind. I needed to do some spring cleaning and gain perspective. I was going through some of the hardest things I ever had to walk through in nearly 47 years. Death, financial trouble, family drama, confusion, and utter helplessness. All that bad stuff into a horrid mixed drink that I had to turn up. I needed to know where my friends were. I stretched out my hand for them to help me out of these dark place I was in and that's when I got the shock of my life. They just didn't have time for me. I always give the benefit of the doubt at first. I thought it was because they were busy with their own troubles. That's understandable too. Life happens. You can't keep giving the benefit of the doubt to multiple offenders. After a while, you have to suck it up and read the signs. I was convinced that they didn't see me as valuable. To me, that's much different than having too many irons in the fire. I was burned. I was stung. I was snake bitten. My view on friendship changed radically. I even vowed never to post or tweet about friendship ever again. (Blogs don't count so I'm still good!) 

The passage in John 15:13 really hit the spot when I needed to unpack all these feelings: "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." (NLT)

Jesus was showing us how to pattern our love for each other by how He loved us. It's simply pointing towards self sacrifice. Now that I'm older and a lot wiser, I realize that it's the only way friendship is legitimized. It's, in my humble opinion, the reason that those folks that stood in the Outer Court in the Old Testament were unable to enter into the Inner Court of the Tabernacle. They were not willing to make the sacrifice necessary. That hit me when I took that uncomfortable step that I was telling you about. I asked over 120 people locally that I actually knew personally, walked with through some hard times, had lunch and/or coffee with, prayed for when they were in trouble,been privy to their darkest hours and hidden secrets, offered phone support to in the wee hours of the morning, helped them build their ministries, mentored and coached them, sat at their dinner tables and broke bread with their families, ran errands with and for them, given them food from my cupboards, and cried and prayed with. I got two messages via text but not one of them was there. Not one. When it was all said and done, and my pity party was over, and I stopped questioning my worth and value for the hundred thousandth time, and wondering if I made a mistake with the invitation address or typed the wrong date or if my phone was accidentally turned off, the truth was clearly discernible in that moment. It wasn't about what I had done or had not done. What I was offering was not valuable to the person(s) I was offering it to. It was not on their list of priorities. It was not relevant. It didn't hold special meaning for them. It was clearly not something they wanted or needed.

Once I got out of the "woe is me" game, and took a step back, I realized an indisputable fact. This was not about me at all. It was more about where my "friends" were in their lives than what they thought about me. I know that my sacrifices for their sake were legitimate and I know what they cost me to do each and every one. I did that because they were my friends and they were worth it. To be transparent, I don't think I can look at those three options that I started this blog with and see many of them in the #3 position. I used to but to me, it would be contrived and forced honor on my part to place them there.

I grew up a lot in a very short span of time. I got an education that I will never forget. I won't lament over it and I'll probably never discuss it again with anyone. But I think about the times we are inspired and led to share with some of our "friends" the grace of Jesus Christ, an exciting revelation, or an invitation to a special event. We have to be prepared for the reality that just because it's important to you and sacrifice-worthy doesn't mean it is the same for them. We can't be angry with them and hold unforgiveness in our hearts towards them just because we felt "rejected". Three final things to remember for the road ahead: 

1) Accept the Realization that Jesus was the ultimate reject (family, friends, and disciples) and He still had the capacity through the love of God to redeem an entire world from destruction.

2) Be grateful for the Revelation that not only shows you where you are in your walk but also where your "friends" are so you can make the necessary adjustments as needed.

3) Seize the opportunity to Rejoice because through these hurts, you discover that these things that mold you but they have less to do with you and more to do with Him.

WhY wE WorSHiP

A fisherman fishes.
A miner mines.
A painter paints.
A salesman sells.
A worshipper worships.

Most of the above are jobs or roles in organizations but only one of them is the essence of the man even when there is no job left or no organization to be a part of. Romans 12:1 reminds us that because of the mercies we have from God, willingly present your bodies as living sacrifices unto God, holy and acceptable, which is your reasonable act of worship. Maintain these vessels, not simply physically, but also spiritually with moral cleanliness, and fill them with praise, keep them with honor, and offer them back to their true owner daily who bought them at a very high price. Commit yourself regularly to saying "I will because YOU can." That's a worshipper in a nutshell.

But why do they do what they do? Why does a worshipper worship? Where does this responsibility come from?

Is it out of necessity? Coercion? Forced servitude? Some unseen obligation?

When does a job become more than that and morphs into duty?

What exactly is "duty" anyway? We certainly hear all kinds of variations of it in our world. It's certainly bounced around in enough places that we think we got a handle on what it is.

Duty is defined by Merriam Webster as the following: a) something that is done as part of a job, b) something that you must do because it is morally right or because the law requires it, c) assigned service or business, active military service, d) obligatory tasks, conduct, service, or functions that arise from one's position in life or in a group, and e) a moral or legal obligation.

Now there are a lot of applications as you can see. It sounds like a job. It sounds like a service. It sounds like a moral responsibility. Is it one? Is it some? Is it a combination of all three?

Duty is important to the point I want to make about worship simply because worship in its current incarnation in America appears (maybe not at your local ministry) to resemble some optional approach to God that is dependent on how you feel emotionally or what issues you are challenged with naturally. It may be as interchangeable as the uniform you can put on when you begin serving and take off when you have completed your assigned tasks. I have literally heard people when challenged with their commitment to local ministry (Yes, I was the one who challenged their thinking at the time) say this out of their mouths:

"No thank you. I have done my duty for today."

Now I'm not totally sure what I was feeling that rose up inside me like a steaming pot of molten lava but I know that I was greatly bothered and somewhat incensed by this comment and a sentiment I have seen and still do see often.

Are you really trying to get me to believe that you truly feel that any service you render on a Sunday morning in a church service or an annual "gift" you give to the homeless people of your city by volunteering at a soup kitchen so you can feel good is the end of your duty? If you think that, I believe that you are a fool and you are VERY deceived.

I think the gift that God gave through His son, Jesus Christ, which was marked with blood and grace cannot be repaid by us by a sacrifice or nice gesture. Grace is what allows us to continue to take in air when technically we don't deserve the privilege. That debt is too great and too vast for us to repay. If we ever had the means to repay such a massive quantity, then why would we need this grace in the first place? You know why credit card companies have grace periods for repayment? Because there has been evidence that people often overextend themselves and cannot pay them back. Honestly, the system these companies work under make it so that paying this debt back is difficult and more advantageous for the company and less advantageous for you. There is not a thing you can do to repay the debt. Know that you have that grace available because your good intentions, good looks, and "good heart" (That's a laugh. Read Jeremiah 17:9 to see why) alone can never be substantial enough to equal the life of God's only and the only emblem of perfection we have seen as an example. Literally a life saving, life changing gift for a people who do not deserve it at all.

Check out what the Father says about duty in Ecclesiastes 12:13-14. It reads "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether is be good, or whether it be evil."  

It sounds like Solomon was having a dissertation with himself about what the value of this duty is. Hopefully he wasn't arguing with himself but he came to the conclusion and reasons that above all, and every thing else that we thought mattered or was valuable and lofty in our own eyes, we must fear God and keep His Word. A time will come when that will be cast under the light of judgment. I believe I hear brother Solomon saying that nothing else truly matters but this. It is, in his view, the very bottom line.

Now look at your life, brother, sister, friend. It shouldn't be hard to understand and determine that worship is sacrificial. It is the only thing that God truly cares about that we can give. Psalms 51:17-19 sums up a time in history where God's people had rebelled and one of the greatest Kings in Biblical history would cry out to God for mercy after falling into grievous sin. King David, even at the height of the mistake he made and following a strong rebuke from the prophet Nathan, he was able to see something incredible that he articulated in this passage. It was tradition to offer sacrifices and that was to gain favor with God or to please Him in some way. It was done for hundreds upon hundreds of years. David recognized something that only a deep relationship with God could reveal. He revealed to us the kind of sacrifice that God truly favors. This was the same David was a recipient of this same kind of thinking when the Prophet Samuel was sent to the house of Jesse to anoint the new King of Israel in I Samuel 16:7.

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (KJV)

Did you catch that word from the Lord? The Lord doesn't see things the way man sees them. We think we have done enough to satisfy Him and it is not even enough to start the conversation. We use old methods of sacrifice and the Lord wants your heart instead of the ram or bullock. He won't turn away a humble spirit and a broken heart. You can have the nicest, softest church clothes. You can have the most educated speech. You can have a car that rivals all other vehicles. And you can have a strong knowledge of His Word and the ability to preach it eloquently. If you don't have His heart and His Spirit, you have nothing of consequence.

So the next time you stand up in a worship service with your hands down and your face scrolling through your Facebook profile, try to remember your duty. When your local pastor asks you to clean the toilets and your first thought is that you don't want to mess up your new suit, try to remember your duty. When you sit home and use past hurts as the excuse for declining all the invitations to visit a friend's ministry or talk yourself out of serving your community with the gift God has already blessed you with, or you just can't commit more than five minutes a day in prayer for someone else, try to remember your duty. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, and night has come, and the account of life is closed, all we have is what we've done and how we have spent the currency God has blessed us with. Try to remember your duty.

OfF tHe GriD

Some of my "old school" friends and I laugh about this from time to time but it's becoming a more prevalent thought with each passing day.

No one has provided me with a viable response to why we talk to each other less just because communication has been "enhanced". We have become so insensitive, detached, and less aware of what is going on around us. It's a tragedy that no one seems to notice. 

When we only had a rotary phone at home, we made phone calls. We have cell phones and now we don't make many phone calls? I know it's not quite that simple but that's the common denominator. Sure, you can text and email but I never thought that would change everything. Guess I didn't think getting a Motorola Startac phone would cause me to be disconnected from my family. I just saw it as awesome to have the ability to call from anywhere and not have to find a phone booth with a phone that works. 

If we ever had to dial a family member's number without hitting speed dial or pressing their names in our I-Phone contact list, could we do it? The easier things are made for us, the harder things seem to become for us. When I got my I-phone, I had such high hopes that I would really be able to connect with my family and friends. I was mostly motivated by the ability to "FaceTime". I could see my family across the country and stay close and connected. I used this feature a grand total five times in nearly as many years. I fell victim to the trap. That's what happens when we are not intentional. We hope. We plan. And we fail to accomplish. An old saying says "The path to hell is paved with good intentions." Umm, yeah. This brings me to the "grid" in question.   

Social media is a monster now that I don't think we have enough bullets to kill it. It has grown to such monstrous proportions that we can't fix it. There have been modifications and adjustments and tweaks but honestly all we can do is avoid it or minimize its effects. I know some folks that have abandoned the idea of it altogether. I wonder how they're doing. Maybe I'll give them a call.

Are you happy with the state of social media? Are you cool with what is happening on your timeline? Are you ok with the effect it has on your personal life? I never questioned this as much as I have as of late. Then I remember what happened a little over ten years ago. I was faced with a similar dilemma and I wasn't fully writing and publishing my books at that time. I was online with Instagram, Twitter, Linked In, and Facebook accounts. I was in three NFL fan groups, one NBA fan group, and two MLB fan groups. I had a blog and I was writing for a Mets blog site and a Giants blog site. I was active and had nearly one thousand "friends". People were asking my opinion about everything from lineups to self help to fantasy football. I guess it was safe to say I had a strong "online presence". And I was deeply unhappy and unfulfilled. 

I posted a series of polls to gauge what my "friends" thought and to get their perspective on this social media experience gone awry. Their responses were not a salve to my wounds. I was so unhappy with where things were. I needed to get off the grid and find myself again. I disconnected every account, resigned from contributing on these very popular blog sites. I sent out hundreds of "goodbye" texts, emails, and posts. I was calling it quits. I left and stayed away for about five years. It felt liberating. I felt more alive than I have been in years. I felt unencumbered. I even attempted to call and email family and friends more. They were either non responsive or found themselves unable or unwilling to commit that time to share moments and conversations outside of the social media world. Those platforms were their preferred method of communication. They didn't want what I wanted. They didn't see what I saw. That's when I realized that nothing I did or attempted to do changed the world I left behind. It didn't feel good. I felt isolated and lonely. Social media and my friends and family were beckoning almost on a weekly basis to come back, whatever that meant. They sent me emails saying "We miss you so much" and "I miss our chats and I am so grateful for your advice" and "Man, we miss talking football with you." 

It wasn't like I still couldn't provide those things. They just didn't want them on my terms. 

I think that's what this all boils down to. Social media has grown to the point where it shapes how we think. It has become a "go to" location for national and world news. It is where we find spoilers for our favorite TV shows and movies. It's where we find out that our  friends and relatives are married or had children. It has become the source of information for us, good or bad. 

Now that I am a published author with several books in the works, I know the power of social media but I certainly question the impact it has on today's society. I don't know what this all looks like in the future but if I ever had to go off the grid again, I am positive that I would never be able to return. As you can see from this shortened version of my story, going off the grid could mean losing more than just a few accounts and a few hundred "friends". Is it worth the cost you'd have to pay or do you like things just the way they are?

Thoughts? Perspectives? Answers? More Questions?

Are you content with where things are in social media?

What are the things about social media that make you happy? Or that make you angry?

Could you envision yourself living off the "social media" grid for any period of time?

If you could change something about your social media experience, what would it be?

Do your accounts serve a purpose?

How much time do you spend on social media?

What would you like to do better if you had the chance?

Is social media your primary means of communicating with friends and family?

Would your specific circle of friends and family prefer communicating outside of social media?

A fEw GooD MeN

I have known many cases of domestic violence and spousal abuse in so many different forms but ultimately it's destructive to souls from generation to generation. Men and women who don't appreciate what's good in their lives and how blessed they are. They destroy it with reckless abandon and don't realize the extent of the damage their actions or their words do. Those are the extreme, less than subtle cases that make us gasp in horror and well it should. Those are the instances that sicken us and prompt us to act on behalf of what is right. 

What's understated in our times are the good men that sacrifice everything for their families, not giving in to public perception or to the media's view of the father. Amazingly, not only does the world at large diminish and mischaracterize these, that disrespect and mockery exists in their own households. It's one thing to go out and face a world that doesn't support and encourage you. It's quite another to not get that support and encouragement from home either. The occasional "I love you" and "I'm proud of you" pales in comparison to the bevy of insults and frequent emasculation. 

What few of us realize is that broken people just begat more broken people. We teach our kids to disrespect, mishandle, and show disregard for what we don't know how to appreciate. We say it was only a joke but only one person is laughing. The other is slowly dying inside, wondering what they did to deserve such a sharp assault. I'm heartbroken. I've seen this so many times and I still see it regularly today. 

Every day one's faults are being dragged out in public places and that same one is supposed to hold their heads up and "be a man". They're supposed to do better. They're supposed to do more. They're being asked to fill a void and an emptiness that only God can fill. They're taking blows and shots in an impossible task. I have seen plenty of rotten men who forsake family, dishonor their parents, and have done unspeakable things. They are all over the news most nights or in your local paper but the unsung heroes that, although not perfect in any way, shape, or form, are daily striving to get it right. What good is a Fathers Day gift when he has insults, mockery, and disrespect levied against him the rest of the year? It's an empty gesture and a futile exercise. 

They should be celebrated, not because they don't abuse their spouses, but because they are tackling tremendous odds and those odds are not in their favor. Their only solace and safe haven from a hellish day is their home. Sometimes that's when their day gets worse. The old saying that "a good man is hard to find " may be easier than you think. They're construction workers, ministers, teachers, police officers, doctors, city officials, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, nephews, brothers, and sons. What we see as  "good" is determined by the lens we see life through. Maybe it depends on whether your natural father was "good". Maybe it is based on what your mother taught you "good" was from her perspective.  Maybe you learn "good" from your favorite romance novel. Maybe "good" to you flat out means whatever makes you feel good is "good". 

I think before you determine the answer to that question, search yourself while searching for a reputable source. If you listen to the wise among you, these types are rare and don't grow on trees. They're not easily replaceable once one of these are lost.

Have you been blessed with one but don't know how to properly treat this precious gift? Have you mishandled him and made him feel worthless so that you can feel better about yourself? Have you manipulated him in order to achieve your own goals? Is he a gem of a husband? Is he your best friend? Is he your mentor? Is he your local pastor? Is he your father or brother or son? Would you know this "good man" if you saw him? I write this heartbroken because I know that every one of these good men have a breaking point and watching them abused is painful. It's not or ever the kind of news that gets publicized. It occurs behind a shroud, a veil that many don't see. It's not on too many radars. There's little sensitivity around the idea of a man being abused. I fear that the word abuse is simply misunderstood. My spiritual mentor taught me a great lesson about that word. He said that "when the purpose of a thing is not understood, abuse is inevitable."

I think that says it all. Whomever that good man is in your life, if you can locate one, treat him well and with honor. He doesn't have to be perfect to command your respect. You offer that because of who offers him to you. Because of who allowed you by grace to have this goodness in your life at such a critical time. If we can't recognize a blessing, we'll mistreat it and potentially lose it. Like I said earlier, hurting people produce hurting people. These rare jewels hurt daily. They hurt in their workplaces. They hurt in their schools. They hurt in our churches. They hurt in the corporate boardrooms. They hurt when they lay down at night in the place that's supposed to be their safe haven. That doesn't sound "good" to me. How about you?

(Psalms 37:23 KJV) "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delights in his way."