"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:4-8)
Every once in a while, I hear a song from an era that I was raised in and the lyrics go "I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is. I know you can show me."
I'm not ashamed to say it was performed by 80's pop group Foreigner. It was a huge part of my upbringing and a symbol of how much music and their lyrics meant to me. It was also why I spent so much time living in my own head as a youngster coming up. I was very critical of people and if they acted like or treated me differently than the concept of togetherness, love, and compassion that I tightly held on to in those songs, I would turn myself off and become detached.
I thought that song and others like it was what love was about. It was a guideline for most every girlfriend or potential love interest I ever had. I romanticized every single relationship in my youth and held standards that I couldn't uphold myself. I wanted the best but I couldn't offer my best. I wanted excellent when I only offered lackluster. If I had the momentary ability to give my all and it was unrequited in even the slightest way, I would stick my head back into my shell and it would take what seemed like an eternity to get me to poke it back out again. I was damaged. I had a fantastic mother who loved me unconditionally but my concept of love was warped. I didn't see this thing called love through the right lens. I hurt a lot of people and I allowed a lot of people to hurt me. Wounds from which it took years to recover. I could write a book on the heart wrenching decisions I had to make in my life and the results of them that might surprise you about me. I didn't know what love was but I wanted to know. I was blessed to see outstanding examples of it up close.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:4-8)
Seeing it like this has changed my whole perspective on the subject. It took my focus off of me and placed it where it belonged: on others. When you truly love someone, there are no chains or suffocating conditions. You promise to cherish, honor, and support because you care enough about the other person to do so. A shotgun wedding or arranged marriage doesn't quite paint the picture of love without condition. In that passage, we are given a beautiful but simple picture of what love should resemble. We are to give it to others, if for no other reason, simply because it was given freely to us. Thank you Jesus!
I wanted to know what love was. Thank you showing me. I wanted to feel what love was. You gently and patiently showed me.
Now I need to reflect that to others the way you did for me. The greatest love we can give is the one we give continuously without expectation of return. Ooo, that preaches!
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