FavOR aiNt fAIr

There's a saying one of my spiritual mentors, the late Dr. Myles Munroe, often quoted, that I carry with me every day of my walk. "When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable."

That abuse stretches into many areas but one is the mishandling of the word of God. Meaning we take something that is precious and make it profane. We take an idea that the Author used in a specific context of a specific time, era, or social climate and apply it to our "right now" without thought for what the intended point of the message was. Conversely, we can do the opposite and take something meant for everyone and restrict to a specific group of people. Or we can just take religious buzzwords to exalt ourselves above others and make a mockery of God's Word, while destroying people in the process. Reminds me of the catchphrases that I heard ad nauseum for the last twenty plus years like "I'm Blessed and Highly Favored", "Favor Ain't Fair", and other assorted misused ideologies.

I look at my employees and co-workers in our building sideways when I sincerely ask them how they're doing and they respond with the now obligatory "I'm here". Now if I wanted to know your specific location at that moment, responding with "I'm here" might make some sense. But I'm not looking for where you are geographically because I know where you are. I look at people in our religious circles the same way when I pose the same question. Their response is normally "I'm blessed and highly favored" or some variation of the same. I question if answering that by describing your state or condition of being is appropriate either but we'll table that for another time. Let's look at being favored.

My circles, even in twenty plus years of ministry, might be a bit small as a sample size but I have heard the idea of being favored used either as if it is a crown for people God likes more than everyone else or used routinely as a way to avoid answering the true question: How are you?

Remember when the virgin Mary was approached by an angel from the Lord and the greeting he gave her in Luke 1:28-29? He said, "Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you. Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think of what the angel could mean."

Would it be safe to assume that Mary was confused by the greeting because it was not common? Was it something that she had never heard in her ears? People say "Favor Ain't Fair" when they laud something they have over someone who does not have it. Basically, a "believer's" way of saying "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, you can't have none!" This is not God's method and does not reflect His heart.

We're not favored because we have a nice car. We're not favored because we have a six figure income. We're not favored because we have fourteen children when our neighbor only has one. We're not favored because we remember the scripture address but can't live it and our peers only know a few but apply it to their lives daily.

You say you're "blessed and highly favored"? Mary was blessed and highly favored because she was being given the ability to shift and usher in something that would dramatically alter the course of life for countless people. She was being given a responsibility that would cause her to be shunned, ostracized, mocked, insulted, and disrespected. And to add to that, she had to listen to insults, lies, and even the extreme heights of brutality and then the cruel crucifixion of the same seed that she was blessed and highly favored to bring into this world. She was not favored to lead. She was favored to serve. Now how many of you still want to be "blessed and highly favored"? I'll wait.......

Favor is given for you to serve and not to lead. 

Favor takes you from your loved ones and into far away lands.

Favor put you in a pit and leaves you for dead. 

Favor takes you from comfortable homes into captivity.

Favor needs to be of service to others. 

Favor allows you to govern areas you have no prior background in. 

Favor is not designed to intimidate people beneath you. 

Favor means you will help people and they will forget their promise to you and take you for granted. 

Favor doesn't mean you're better than someone else but it does mean that you have the ability to shift situations for someone else's good and never your own.

Favor means people will use you and they're supposed to. It's activated when in the midst of someone else's need. 

Favor will help save someone else's marriage even if it means putting you in prison when you're innocent. 

Favor has pain because you're more effective easing other people's hurt than you can your own.

Favor is worthless to someone who doesn't like people. 

Favor puts you in high places only to preserve the lives of many not to exalt your position or status.

Just ask Joseph. (Genesis 37 through Genesis 50:26 for context)

Is that fair? 

BoUT tHAt (AnT) LiFe

You got to love Proverbs 6:6-8. Every time I get challenged with the seasons I go through, this scripture offers almost immediate comfort and re-focusing. It reads: "Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest."

There's no shame in saying that you have no idea what that means. It's one of those times in reading your Bible that context is very necessary. The verses that precede it could help shed some light on what this harsh sounding rebuke is coming from. Verses 1-5 read:

"My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands: Go to the point of exhaustion, and give your neighbor no rest! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler."

I don't know about you but that helps make the picture much clearer. If we continue in laziness and a sedentary spiritual and natural life, we are at the mercy of other people. We are prone to be victims to their decisions because we balked at making enough of them for ourselves.

This sounds strangely like a father warning his son against being lazy and slothful. Perhaps the father possesses a great many things and he desires to pass the profitable business down to his son but fears that he will waste the opportunity due to a lack of desire and strong work ethic. Commentaries teach us that when poverty is entertained even in the slightest, it becomes too strong to overcome and we are overtaken. They also teach us that it is our duty to be diligent in business affairs, not so that we are wealthy and able to lord our good fortune over the heads of others but that we are not an unnecessary burden to others or be proponents of scandal in your communities.

In this scenario, the ant makes us look pretty bad. Look at it down to the basics. This ant has no one looking over their shoulder offering advice, no guide on which direction they should go, no one to call the ant to account, or to offer correction when they go astray. They do everything according to their natural instinct. They provide for what is needed regardless of the external environment around them and what might be commonly done in their midst. They are diligent to work and they don't break pattern. They don't "forget" their duty. They are tireless workers. They are not subject to compromise and slackness. How often have you heard of a starving ant?

In contrast, we as humans have overseers (supervisors, pastors, parents, etc.), guides and mentors, life coaches and disciplers, teachers and all manner of leadership. We have means to receive correction and inspiration where we need it. We have access to resources and programs and opportunities under the proviso that we can get up off the proverbial (and literal) couch to seek. The ant doesn't have GPS navigation or a car to get to the nearest grocery store for supplies. They get out of the hole and seek. They look. They smell. They sense. They work. It feels embarrassing for the father to tell the son "Look at the example of the ant! Follow the example of the insect!"

There's an old saying that my dearly departed mother in law stated often "You don't miss your water until your well runs dry." It is applicable to marital relationships, family connections, or your status in the workplace, your local church, or your community. It's a metaphor for the idea that you have taken something or someone for granted. It means you don't know what you have until it's gone.

What may come to mind for you in this moment is your job and your need for more money but the countless times you may have squandered the opportunity or maybe just how you have mishandled opportunities to launch that business that's been on your heart or even something as simple as not helping your spouse with normal household duties. All those are suitable and certainly applicable but what I would offer is the idea that maybe we have become lazy in our spiritual lives as well. How do we intend to correct that? Go to the ant. Consider his ways and be wise!

SomEtHIng tO ReFLecT oN

Is it possible to provide too much information about ourselves on social media? "Baby's First Poop" and a half eaten Pork Chop with gravy and Scalloped Potatoes might be best left out of your selfies. T.M.I.

Just the way "believers" behave themselves proves that we don't understand grace so we will not readily detect when it has run out.

It could very well be plausible that there is no such thing as an "All-American". Please forward all comments and criticisms to Ancestry.com.

A person experiencing mental and emotional torment looks just like you and I, are "good people", have children and responsibilities like we do, and hold down a good job just like we do, and, wait for it, attend church every Sunday like we do. So why are they still tormented?

I'm starting to wonder if there is more than one "Jesus Christ" out there because I hear music artists who receive awards thank Him and honor Him as Lord and Savior but He can't be found in one of their songs. Maybe He uses a stage name.

Still waiting for an answer from the ladies on why married women or those spoken for by a significant other still post selfies that are slanted and angled to accentuate their bosoms. All I have so far is "no comment".

Is the distance between driving while texting and vehicular homicide or manslaughter really as far from each other as you think?

Fantasy football has the ability to desensitize us if we let it. You know it's started when a player with a family goes down with a horrific injury on the field, we plop back in frustration in our chairs and feverishly figure out how this will affect our roster. 

Even if you hold all the facts and you are absolutely correct in your assessment of a situation, a lack of integrity and solid character makes you wrong every time.

Since the early days of civilization, many have tried to make something holy or good that at it's core is unholy. Even today's churches rent their facilities out so many of these activities can take place. 

You can tell what you worship and give the most honor to by where you spend most of your time and whom you spend it with.

The previous administration wasn't close to being my favorite and I saw a lot of negatives but it's hard to read my timeline and not wonder if Obama is the most hated and vilified President of modern times for reasons other than his politics. It made me immediately question what my "friends" think about me. Hmmm.

The true disciple learns, not so that they can teach others, but so that they can learn and grow themselves.

There are strong indications that some end time prophecy is starting to take shape. In order to have medical care, you will need to be implanted with an RFID chip in your forehead or arm. SOUL-searching!

You know something is amiss when your friend who hates reading and never liked school plays "Gynaecia" in Words With Friends.

Is it possible to stand up for the anthem, place your hand across your chest, lift your head up high and say the words in concert with everyone around you and still not believe in what you're saying? 

In times of storm and tragedy, some people say God doesn't exist because if He did, in their estimation, He would eradicate all evil and there'd only be good on Earth. If He eradicated all evil and showed no mercy or grace, Earth would be uninhabited by human beings. 

A true test of our humanity is to scroll past the islands and towns that were decimated by storms and still find a place to post a complaint about how hard our lives are.

Who regularly goes back through their timeline and looks at what they wrote and shared? Exactly. We can't get back the words we launch into the online world once they've been loosed. We can't get the rocks we have thrown at others before they land where they're thrown.

If the Bible accurately notes that the path to destruction is wide and broad and many follow it but the path to life is narrow and few even find it, why is so easy for us to follow the "crowds" and have "crowds" follow us? Where are we heading exactly?

What makes you go "Dang"? Share in the comments. We would love to hear yours. 

THe REaL AmeriCAN QuiZ

Do you consider yourself a "Real American"?
We'll find out.

52 states, 52 questions

Perhaps you will find this quiz enjoyable. Or not. Mirror Time With Mr. Yu is going to do what we always do: Make You Laugh, Make You Cry, Or Make You Think!

1) Were you born and raised in this country?
2) Do you see the American Flag as an important symbol of this country?
3) Do you like the sport of baseball?
4) On Thanksgiving, do you think about the Native American people and their plight?
5) Is the exercising of free speech something you could not live without?
6) Do you feel more patriotic at your 4th of July barbecue?
7) What is your willingness to donate to local and national charities? (Scale of 1 to 10)
8) Name every president of the U.S. starting from the first to the most current.
9) Do you connect drinking beer with loving your country? If so, why?
10) Have you ever been to a third world country? Do you prefer that place to the U.S.?
11) Whose face is on the quarter (25 cents)?
12) What do you normally do with your family on Labor Day?
13) How do you celebrate Veterans Day even if you don't know any veterans?
14) Would you prefer to live in the Midwest rather than on either coast? If so, why?
15) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
16) How do you celebrate Presidents Day? Does any of these activities involve new furniture?
17) Is Christmas the most significant or the least significant holiday of the year?
18) Are the sound of bagpipes annoying or relaxing?
19) Can you accurately describe every aspect of the one dollar bill?
20) Is football your hands down favorite sport?
21) Do you stand up and cheer when Snoopy's float appears in the Thanksgiving Day parade?
22) Do you think Taylor Swift represents America and its values?
23) What's the #1 reason that would make you move to Canada or to some other foreign country?
24) Does "Uncle Sam" instill confidence in you or does he make you nervous?
25) When you come upon a homeless or destitute person, what is the first response of a "True American"?
26) If you could have one wish for America as a country, what would it be? (You cannot say "A Utopian Government")
27) Is blond hair and blue eyes American?
28) If you were not born in this country, would you pick any other country over the U.S.?
29) What is the address to the White House?
30) What is your all time favorite American meal?
31) If there was one book that symbolized America to you, what would that be? (Racists that dropped out of 4th grade need not answer- you're exempt.)
32) If someone says "America is evil", what is the appropriate response of a "Real American"?
33) Do you believe that if everyone said what they thought, the country and world would be a better or worse place?
34) What is the appropriate condiment for a hot dog: Mustard or Ketchup?
35) What is the appropriate condiment for a hamburger: Mayonnaise, Ketchup, or Mustard?
36) Do you know what the meaning of the stars and stripes on the American Flag symbolize?
37) When was America founded?
38) Who said "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country”?
39) How many stripes are on the American flag?
40) What is still the most watched TV finale in television history?
41) What is the most popular color (paint and clothing) in America?
42) Whose presidential faces are on Mount Rushmore?
43) What is the most popular music genre in America?
44) Whose face is on the one hundred dollar bill?
45) Which is not a nickname of New York City, "Melting Pot", "The City That Never Sleeps", "The Big Apple", or "The Empire City"?
46) Which is America's most popular pie, Strawberry, Apple, Pecan, or Coconut Cream?
47) What, in your hometown or where you currently live, best symbolizes what America means to you?
48) What is the least popular color (paint and clothing) in America?
49) What is America's most popular ice cream flavor, Cookies & Cream or Chocolate?
50) What is the most kind hearted act you performed this year so far?
51) What is your all time favorite candy?
52) Which American city is home to the Liberty Bell?

Bonus Question: What is the one thing about this country that makes you the most proud?

COmmiTMenT iSSueS

Do you have "commitment issues"?

One of my favorite mottos is "Relationship Over Religion". I used it (and perhaps invented it) continuously during a weekly series on discipleship that I was teaching about four or five years ago. It stuck and I look at the world I live in through that lens. It's even the title of an earlier blog with more detail on where that idea comes from.

I look at my three beautiful grown daughters and the issues they struggle with in relationships in their quest to find a "good man".

I look at my niece who is about to be married and is finding it difficult to locate family that will support her on this incredible journey towards a new life with her soon to be husband. "Family" has become unreliable.

I look at some of my employees who are desirous to have more money and a better position but they are averse to the grind of being consistent and laying the groundwork for a fruitful career. They just appear to want something for nothing.

I look at so many friends and acquaintances that I have in ministry all around the country. Most of their complaints are identical. There are many needs that require immediate attention but no one wants to put the effort in. They all have too many outside "commitments" and it's just not priority for them to do anything for the Church. It does not appear to rank high on the priority list.

It all boils down to the same heart condition. An inability to commit.

So many young men don't know how to commit because they have never seen it modeled or mirrored in their upbringing. "Family" can be so familiar with their fellow family members that it breeds contempt. (See Jesus when He tried to take His ministry to His countrymen. He couldn't affect change because they only saw Him as Joseph, the carpenter's son.) Employees often can't commit to the company vision usually they can't see themselves in it or they have yet to understand who they are personally so they can be fulfilled.

Religion is a system of beliefs constructed by man for the benefit of men. God never required this and it rarely if ever meets His purposes or lines up with His ways. It is flawed because men use their own logic to justify it. Think about that passage in James 1:23-26 in this context. Religion allows man to do what they think is best and expect God to find it acceptable. That old saying "The path to hell is paved with good intentions" comes to mind. If you have a warped perception of things, every idea and concept that comes out of that is also warped by extension. If you don't change your mind, you really can't change your trajectory.

"For if a person just listens and doesn't obey, he is like a man looking at his face in a mirror; as soon as he walks away, he can't see himself anymore or remember what he looks like. But if anyone keeps looking steadily into God's law for free man, he will not only remember it but he will do what it says, and God will greatly bless him in everything he does. Anyone who says he is a Christian but doesn't control his sharp tongue is just fooling himself, and his religion isn't worth much."

If his/her lifestyle doesn't measure up to what he/she professes, their religion is worthless. I believe it translate the same in relationships. If a wife talks a good game with her girlfriends on a girls night out but disregards and neglects her duties at home, her profession is worthless to her husband.

People are obsessed with having options. It is safer to worship more than one God. It is safer to have multiple places to worship in the event that someone rubs you the wrong way or does something you don't like. It is safer to have a "side piece" in case your main squeeze missteps. It is safer to avoid commitment so you don't get hurt and retain all of your heart. It is safe but not realistic for long term personal and spiritual growth. In order for fruit to be produced, a seed has to "die" so that it can truly live.

Sad to say, commitment is the new dirty word. And from the looks of things, that sentiment is lining up with the deterioration of our moral fiber.

• More than 50% of marriages end in divorce in the U.S. and that number is climbing. 

• More than 45% of employees in the workplace are not engaged with the company. 26% are actively working to remain disengaged from their companies.

• Recent statistics seem to indicate that 50% of Americans do not have a church home and less than 20% are actually attending church regularly. But more than 75% of people polled identify as Christians.

Although I am a self professed numbers guy, this is one time where that doesn't move the needle for me. I am more concerned with the reason why the commitment is so tenuous at best. We may ask more questions than we get answers but I wanted to use this piece to open up the avenue for discussion and perhaps accomplish some kind of breakthrough in this. Please use the comments section to ask your own questions or share your answers that others might gain positive perspective from it. If you choose to do neither, at least, consider this in your own personal situation wherever this applies.

I'd like to leave you with some questions to ponder:

1) When looking for a home church for you and your family, what factors do you take into consideration?

2) Ladies: In your mind, what is the definition of a "good man" and where does that belief come from?

3) Gents: In your mind, what is the definition of a "good woman" and where does that belief come from?

4) How do you describe "family"? Are they blood related, not blood related, or both?

5) What are the important factors that help you decide on whether you will commit to an organization or a relationship?

6) If you have a solid friend or friends in your life, how committed are you willing to be to sustain the relationship(s)? (Scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the minimal and 10 being the maximum commitment)

7) How do you view the place where you work? Do you find pleasure and fulfillment in hard work? Do you believe the company has undervalued you and your faithful service?

8) If you're in a serious romantic relationship, what are your expectations? Are the expectations equal between both you and your partner?

9) What area (s) are you having a challenge with commitment? Are you willing to help fix them or have you given up?

ThErE aLL tHE tIMe

I've told this story many times but it is still poignant today. 

I've been in some semblance of active ministry for nearly 20 years and a good friend sparked this again in me over lunch this afternoon. It made me a bit reflective about where I came from, where I am, and even what others like me might be dealing with right now. 

In my humble opinion, you can't have ministry without His Spirit, and you can't have His Spirit without a humble heart and a bonafide connection/relationship with God Almighty. Please allow me to share a very brief story with you on something I experienced in ministry that changed my view forever. I won't name persons associated with this experience or the specific ministry. Please don't ask me. Just appreciate this piece of my history and hopefully this encourages all of us to do better when we claim the name of the Lord in what we do. Okay. Here goes. 

I was working with a traveling praise team that consisted of about twelve members. It was exciting to travel to so many different places and meet people from all walks of life. Getting to minister in song was just a bonus. The director was very skilled, accomplished, and classically trained. He was a stickler for detail and aimed for perfection. It was an uneasy connection at first between him and I. A good friend of mines and a mentor in a sense held the position before him and I was pretty tight with him. When he was forced to leave the position, it hit me hard and I had a lot of questions. The only thing I was sure of was that I wanted to continue to sing and be a part of the ministry I was in. So I embraced the new leadership and I worked hard to get what he was trying to teach us. Like I said, he was very skilled and accomplished and he knew talent when he saw it. I looked up to him and wanted to learn at his feet, at least, some of what he had learned. As faithful and consistent as I tried to be, it seemed that he just couldn't see me. He seemed to look right through me until we were joking around during practices then he noticed me. Professionally, I was invisible. We sang with and behind some of the greatest names in gospel and secular music from Yolanda Adams to Mariah Carey and we were exposed to so much together. Really good times and really low moments but he still never saw me. The Lord spoke to me one night and told it was time to resign from the ministry team. I knew that meant I was leaving the church altogether but that was much later. I was awestruck and sad and unwilling to readily accept this. 

"Did I finish my task there, Lord?" were one of the questions I asked but eventually I obeyed. My heart was so heavy the next Worship rehearsal. I had the letter of resignation burning a hole in my pocket. I didn't want to reach in and give it to the director. In an unexpected surprise during practice, I was grudgingly asked to co-lead a solo on a song that featured two male leads, which I performed the following night. That would, in effect, be my final night on that platform singing and it was the epitome of bittersweet. I say grudgingly because the director tried to use anyone else he could but me. I still didn't get why this was a thing but it was clear enough that other people saw it too but would only admit it in very private quarters. Eventually, there was clearly no other viable option and the opportunity was given to me. It was a bone and I recognized it but I humbled myself and let the Lord have the reins. I sung that song like I've never sung any song ever. I didn't attempt to impress the director or make anyone notice me. I felt like I was showing God that I can do what He gifted me to do and the entire building erupted to such a level that the director had us sing the song for several more minutes after the song should have been done. We spent nearly 12-15 minutes on that same song and there didn't seem to be any sign of stopping whatever the Lord was doing in the house that night. I still remember the look on his face immediately after service when I sat down with the director after turning in my resignation papers. He didn't ask me to pray or reconsider my decision. His mouth was just open and he kept shaking his head. His famous last words after I thanked him for giving me an opportunity to serve with the team was: "I didn't know that was in you!"

He said that a few times while continuing to shake his head. That was one of the saddest moments of my life but not for the reason you might think. You can find it in parables. You can find it in popular movies. You can find it in historical biographies. Don't misuse or mishandle the valuable resources and treasures in your sphere of influence. They will not be there always. I didn't see myself as valuable at the time and I didn't even consider myself particularly talented. All I knew was that I was gifted with something bigger than me. It didn't make me bigger but IT was big. 

As a steward and a leader, it's going to be our reality at some point. We will have to give account for how we treated and invested what belongs to God. How do we want to be remembered? Did we have the appropriate heart for the necessary service? Were we humble and pliable before the Lord? Did we do all we could to provide the best "offering" possible? Or did we give what was convenient and didn't cost you anything? Cain tried that and look where that got him. Just sayin'. 

HiDDen In PlaIN sIGHt

Remember when you used to be a little kid? 

You used to be scared of the things that go bump in the night, the beasts that growl, snarl, and threaten, and lurked in the shadows. You thought you saw something in the corner. You thought you heard a sound in the closet. You thought you felt something under the bed. You'd rather not walk down the dark hall to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Bad dreams. Thunder and lightning. Howling winds. Creeping, crawling things. The stuff childhood nightmares are made of.

This caused many a sleepless night for many of us. 

Now you're all grown up. Perhaps with kids of your own that you nightly encourage to not be afraid of such things. We tell them that these things are not real. We tell them that we should ignore the monsters and they can't harm us. Your final instructions? 

Now close your eyes and go back to sleep.

When we open our eyes the next morning, what exactly do we see?

The world outside of our front door is scary too. Remaining asleep is, of course, optional. We don't have to look. We can turn our heads and avert our eyes. We can see what we want to see. Just like when we were little kids. We can hide in the comforting land of "make believe". Bad cannot harm or affect us and everything is good. Or, conversely, we can say, everything is bad and threatens to harm and destroy us and nothing is good. A tale of two contrasting extremes with seemingly nothing logical in between.

I'm unashamedly not a fan of the horror movie genre and I'm also not afraid of the things that plagued us back then. To me, those monsters on the movie screen pale in comparison to the ones much closer to home.

What's scary now are the people that everyone says can do no wrong. They are above reproach no matter the circumstance. They would never dare be challenged to change. The vast majorities loves them blindly and cannot see even the most obvious blemish. They would never believe a bad word spoken against these "pillars of the community". They will always have the benefit of the doubt. They're the kindest, sweetest, most hospitable persons you know and they would never hurt a fly. They are untouchable. They are in control. And they're everywhere. 

But some of you have been so privileged to see what lies beneath. You have been given a rare opportunity to look behind the curtain. You have seen them without their garb, without the mask that they wear publicly. You have seen them in their true form. But so many remain under the initial impression that "they" don't exist. They are willfully or ignorantly unaware of these ugly, mean-spirited, self-serving monsters. They smile in your face and speak atrocities behind your back. They shake your hand but they think you're beneath them and devalue your life. They say "bless you" but don't wish you well. They say they love God but they hate you or worse, they loath themselves so they lack the capacity to love you. They attempt to snuff out the light of innocent children. They defame and tarnish anything meant to be sacred and pure. They steal what is not theirs by right. They use division to maintain their power and leverage. They profit from the destruction of others. If they can't understand or control it, it must be destroyed. All they give to you comes with a price to be paid later. They devour and never get enough to satisfy their insatiable hunger. They have built their own empires and wield with iron hands behind the guise of a friendly smile. They have grown stronger with each day. 

They are the most dangerous "monster" the world has ever seen. They have power and influence in the community, in public offices, in schools, in the church, and in organization. They lack your moral disposition. They lack the human compassion necessary to co-exist. They are depraved. They are delusional that they are always right and everyone else is wrong. They make decisions that affect you but do not benefit you. They believe the world is better without you in it. They're dangerous not because they're unstoppable with some super power or because they have truth or some wisdom on their side. They're dangerous because of their ability to hide in plain sight. Not in the shadows where the monsters used to dwell but outside in your world, on your television, on your favorite radio station, in your workplace, within your organization, and in your neighborhood. Not concealed in the shadows as the "monsters" you once knew but now are standing in the light. 

But few want to see them now just like we didn't want to see them back then. It's easier to just pretend they are not there. No horns, claws, or sharp teeth but monsters nonetheless. 

We will forever be unable to conquer what we refuse to confront.

thE QuiZ tHAt GoeS PoP

The blog is beginning to grow in readership and that is thanks to you so THANK YOU for subscribing and for following us.

I want to start implementing some new ideas for how to make the blog better. That's always possible! So I thought that we would veer away from the serious, thought provoking topics and just have a little fun today.

Who's game for a pop quiz?

I am going to give you seven different questions with five choices each. The options consist of three false statements and two true statements. See if you can find them. I will answer the questions in the comments if no one guesses all five.

If you like this, perhaps we can make this a regular thing or mix it up for some light-hearted fun. Thoughts? Let's jump in.

WHICH ARE THE TWO TRUE STATEMENTS IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING?

A

1. I had a small role on the now defunct NBC soap opera "Search For Tomorrow".
2. My favorite TV show in the 80's was Manimal.
3. I did a commercial for Coca-Cola when I was nine years old.
4. My first audition as an actor was with the ABC's daytime serial All My Children. I walked up to the building and left.
5. I could skillfully play every soap opera theme song on the piano in the 80's.

  B

1. As a courier, I once delivered a package to a big record executive and I tried to get him to hear our demo. He slammed the door in my face.
2. Our singing group played our demo tape and sang acapella for the late Jam Master Jay of Run D-M-C. He gave us tap water to drink then he passed on us.
3. I used to play the guitar professionally but I just stopped and never played again.
4. I played drums in high school in the school band for two years.
5. I drank Kool-Aid at R&B legend Angie Stone's house during a meeting before she started her solo career.

C
1. I tried to teach myself the piano more than 15 times.
2. I was tossed head first into a swimming pool and was briefly unconscious so now I don't swim.
3. I blamed the legendary Charlie Wilson for the end of my music career for years.
4. I mistakenly walked into gang territory alone and was nearly murdered.
5. I have been to thirty major sporting events in my lifetime.

D
1. Orange is my all time favorite color.
2. I sung background for Mariah Carey, Yolanda Adams, Israel Houghton, and the Crabb Family, among several.
3. I've been to more than half of the fifty states in this country.
4. I got Queen Latifah's home phone number and called her early in the morning, waking her up, to ask her if she'd listen to my group's demo tape.
5. I'm a proud Eagle Scout.

E
1. I witnessed a hit and run but never reported it out of fear.
2. I'm allergic to both Peanut Butter and Nickel.
3. A girl I was falling in love with was allegedly murdered by her parent (s).
4. My best friend growing up was a professional boxer.
5. I was signed to an independent record deal as a singer/songwriter and recorded a full album.

F
1. Some of my best friends were members of the legendary singing group, The Force MD's.
2. My first paying job was at Burger King as a fry cook in downtown Brooklyn.
3. I was very close to trying out to become a professional wrestler.
4. I played in sixteen fantasy football leagues at one time during a season.
5. I was robbed at gunpoint on multiple occasions.



G
1. The first instrument played was a clarinet and I was a member of an orchestra for one school year.
2. I used to be able to make shots from anywhere on the basketball court.
3. I served six years in the Army National Guard.
4. I was a drama major in my high school and starred in several school productions.
5. I am considered to have photographic memory.


I'll post the answers in the comments every where this blog is shared on either Facebook or Google Plus. And I would be happy to clarify any answers if needed. I'm sure there will be questions. Happy Hunting!

THANK YOU again for subscribing and for following us. We appreciate you and if you got ideas on some fun things or thought provoking conversations you would like us to have, please send us your comments on Google Plus, Facebook, or the Twitter. Have a great day!

ThE BloG wiTH No NaME

I would like to share with you, my friends and family, some segments of a recent personal study that relates to identity crisis. I'm sure when you hear those two words, you feel like you have an idea of what it means. Maybe what immediately springs to mind is a much older man with a shiny Red Lamborghini and a toupee. That's what television has taught us is someone that has an identity crisis. Victims of this malady look a lot more like us than what we previously thought.

So what is it exactly?

The Merriam Webster dictionary describes an identity crisis as: "a feeling of unhappiness and confusion caused by not being sure about what type of person you really are or what the true purpose of your life is; confusion about one's social role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one's personality."

So if we are to believe this definition to be accurate, how can a friend, family member, or associate, or worse, someone you don't even know validate your identity. How can "who you are" be so interwoven in "who they are"?

If we are accepting the above definition, that's impossible and unreasonable.

If you ascribe to the Bible as being truth, then Jeremiah 17:9 should be considered accurate and also further cement the point.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (KJV)

Now what does the heart have to do with identity? Well, kinda everything! Who you are determines what you do. If you are inclined to follow Christ in all your ways and efforts, it flows out of you through praise, service, humility, and worship. If you desire the world's offerings and see that as who you are, then you reflect that in every aspect of your life. The news, what people think of you and how many friends you have equate to how your day will go and how much value you think you have.

What you felt in your "heart" was the reason you did most of the stuff you did in life. When you drifted towards drugs, it was in your heart. When you cursed God, it was in your heart. When you hated someone because of how they treated you, it was in your heart. When you decided to receive the Lord as Savior, it was in your heart. When you married who you married, it was in your heart. When you decided to have to set a goal in a certain field of study, it was in your heart. When you made a huge financial investment, it was in your heart. When you refused to forgive someone that hurt you, it was in your heart.

And still the Bible, which 2 Timothy 3:16 says is "profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, and thoroughly furnished unto all good works", says that the heart is more deceitful than anything else and incurable. Wow.

When Cain lifted up that rock over his brother Abel's head......When Moses, who although born Jewish but raised an Egyptian, had to stand up for a people he didn't know against a people he knew well.......When Esau traded his birthright to his brother for some soup......When Rachel gave her servant Bilhah to her husband, Jacob to lay with so she can get a leg up on her sister, Leah.....When that husband decides that since my wife is not responsive to me, I need to find someone who will be......When that wife says that since my husband won't give me what I want, I will not give him what he wants from me.........When that employee, who feels that the company doesn't look out for his best interests decides to take some supplies home as re-payment......

These are the afflictions of this heart. These are examples of a crisis of identity. 

Cain clearly didn't understand his worth and value.

Jacob and Esau made really bad compromises because what they wanted super-exceeded what was most valuable.

Rachel, in Genesis 30:8, felt that she was wrestling with her sister and won the battle and named her son as a symbol of that "victory". Was her purpose to be in a battle with her sister for their husband's affections or was that just a distraction from where her affections needed to be?

When you are challenged with understanding your identity, your focus is in the wrong place. And everything you attempt to build and accomplish will become of no value to you or anyone because it stems from an unhealthy, unfruitful place.

Besides being the wife of Jacob, the sister of Leah, and the daughter of Laban, who was Rachel? What was her purpose? Why was she graced with life and breath?

Have you ever looked at yourself in these terms? 

I am the parent of ...

I am the husband/wife of .....

I am the manager at ....

I am an associate at ....

I am the brother / sister of ...

I am the teacher at .....

It's clear that we can think relationally because those terms are how we see ourselves and what we think about when asked "who we are". We know our names, our addresses, and we know what kind of background we come from. We know all the hurts by name. We remember the pains like they happened yesterday. We wear the betrayals like a piece of jewelry. We know it all it seems. So why can't we engage relationally with the only One that can validate our identities? The only One that can effectively and accurately answer the question of "What type of person you really are" and "What the true purpose of your life is"? Wherever the Author is, every answer to who you are lies with Him. It would make sense that we cling to that valuable source of information but we don't. We instead try to find ourselves in the glimmering reflection of how we look in other peoples' eyes. Our friends. Our family members. Associates who seem to have it all together. Media and entertainment that says if you want to be happy and whole, eat this and wear this and talk like this and surround yourself with this.

People who don't have a firm grip on their identity make permanent decisions based on temporary situations. Like Rachel and Leah did in naming their children for example. Or how Cain responded to his jealousy with anger. Or how Esau willingly gave up the permanent for the temporary because his flesh was weak.

When we don't have a clear understanding of our identity, we don't tackle the issues in our generation and the next generation will be forced to deal with the full brunt of it. That alone should be enough encouragement to deal with our "stuff" straight away!

You can't truly love God and His people if you don't love yourself. And you can't love yourself the way you need to if you don't firmly understand your identity. It comes out into all of your relationships. You place impossible standards on your friendship. You harbor a poor self image. You carry guilt and shame. Your version of love looks more like manipulation. You create unfair expectations on yourself and expect others to live up to them too. It's unhealthy and it stems from our inability or unwillingness to fix our focus on the one who gives us our identity in the first place. We simply make a mess of our lives and that of those around us that we care about. We box with shadows and grasp at the wind. We lack stability and security, authenticity and peace. God loves us too much to leave us in a state like that. 

Colossians 3:1-4 says "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."

There are plenty of keys to our identity in the Bible but this passage has a few.

1. "If then you were raised with Christ" asks if you were connected with Christ and that we walk in obedience to His word and after the pattern of His life on earth, where we look to a Kingdom to come but also have a sacrificial, unconditional love for His people. This asks us have we overcome the world like Christ has or does the world daily overcome us?

2. "Seek those things which are above" reminds us to think about the home without a number on the front steps or over the doorpost. Bear in mind that the place we are in is temporary and is not indicative of who we actually are. We should make heaven our aim because no matter how long we lived "down here", we are actually true residents of citizens of "up there". Now we have to live every day with that goal in mind which would be the stark opposite of everything we learned prior and every ideology and mindset that is around us.

3. "And your life is hidden with Christ in God" speaks to the new man that is forged in Christ Jesus when you receive Him as Lord. It is the core of our identity. It is more defining than your name in the marketplace and your clothes you wear or your status in the community. It is the only thing that doesn't fall away when all those other things do. It speaks to a security that we often still search for. Our lives are laid up safely in Him when we accept Him. Everything vital about who we are is locatable in Him. Every answer. Every wisdom. Every hope.

So the identity we are searching for is firmly wrapped up in Christ. We can't find it in our friends or family members who believe they have us figured out. We can't find it in associations and organizations that gladly use our talents and other abilities but cannot fill the voids within. We certainly can't find it in the world's model of how we should look, act, speak, think, or assess value to self. We will always come up empty when that's our motivation. 

Moses was smack in the middle of an identity crisis with his Jewish heritage and adopted Egyptian privilege but he came face to face with his identity when he came face to face with the Author of his identity. That's when he truly found out who he was beyond family affiliation and cultural heritage. He discovered where he truly came from.

Imagine what this world would be like if everyone in this world had that opportunity. We don't have to imagine it because they do.

iTs A diEHarD LiFe

This will be the toughest piece I've ever written because I have struggled with this for years and to be totally transparent, I have not been completely honest with myself or my friends. If you don't care about sports then you won't find this interesting. If you care about me, it could be a teaching moment. Lots to digest here but I humbly solicit your input. This isn't my normal way of tackling a situation but you could help a lot and my goal is to gain perspective.

I was born and reared in Brooklyn, New York. I spent the majority of my life immersed in New York sports. NFL's New York Giants and the New York Jets. NHL's New York Rangers and the New York Islanders. NCAAF's Rutgers Scarlet Knights. NBA's New York Knicks and the New Jersey (now Brooklyn) Nets. NCAAB's Buffalo Bills. Syracuse Orangemen, UCONN Huskies, and the St. John's Red Storm. Colgate Raiders Track and Field. And MLB's New York Yankees and the New York Mets. If it was New York, we rooted for them. Period! No questions! It was a major part of my daily conversation and usually a huge proponent of the arguments I got into. It was on the vehicles that passed me on the streets. It was on the sports apparel of the city's citizens that brushed past me on the subway platform. It was on flags, billboards, and on my television screens. It was intertwined in my upbringing. It became something fiercely defended on the drop of a dime! I should have been focusing on Social Studies and Mathematics but I was well versed in New York sports. It was what I thought about on the bus ride home from school, while I should have been doing my homework in the evenings, and the primary factor for whether I had a good weekend or not.

I was raised in an unapologetic "All New York sports" household. What that meant is that we actively rooted for every team that was associated with the Tri-State area, which meant New York (city and state), New Jersey, and Connecticut. We were New Yorkers and that was the way I was taught. Fiercely loyal, eye popping insanity when we win and days of mourning if we lost. That was our way! I remember a few times that I made critical statements to make about a few of these teams and my mother was incredulous. I can't recall her exact words but the responses were in the "Well, it doesn't matter because that's our team so we support them no matter what!" category. That's where this saga probably begins.

Growing up, I was watching both Yankee and Met games. The Nets and the Knicks. The Jets and the Giants. The key to all this angst might have been in the fact that I was a fan of the league and the sport before I adopted a favorite team. I was a fan of the MLB
before I gravitated towards the Mets. I was a fan of the NFL before I clung to the Giants. I was enthralled by the Orange Crush, the Purple People Eaters and the Steel Curtain before 1983 when I said "I Do" to Big Blue.

The honest reason why I ever decided to choose a team from the New York sports team family was because of peer pressure and some intimidation as a young kid. The rivalries in the eighties that picked up steam (even down to the high school and college ranks in the city) played a part. There is a lot of tension when you're standing between two friends, one roots for the Knicks and the other roots for the Nets and they're asking you who you like. In your head, your response is "both" but you know that answer puts you in a different category. Probably the same category the rabidly faithful sports fan would put you in today if you answered that way. Saying "I like them all" in some areas I grew up in could result in a different, more negative reaction and it did a time or two. Fear played a small part but my independence and need to carve out my own path forced me to make most of the calls that I did. In hindsight, it was important in my youth that I made a decision than if the decision I made was a good one. Think about it. Some of these teams were awful back when I was younger.

NHL: Hockey was on in my household but I never developed a love for it. Probably because I couldn't see myself in that sport. They didn't play it in my neighborhood and nobody that looked like me played it on TV. I watched a Stanley Cup final games in 1994 and 2014. The Rangers and the Islanders were barely a blip on my sports radar. I am a casual fan of the NHL to say the least.

NCAAF: NBC gets all the credit (or blame) for this one. Living in Brooklyn means that you are not likely to have a high quality college team in any sport within your reach. I am a casual watcher of the Scarlet Knights but the Saturday coverage of college football in the eighties was normally a toss-up between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Michigan Wolverines. Blue was my favorite color. I hated leprechauns! End of story! I have been following and rooting for them since the early nineties and have never left. I would consider myself a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. Michigan or bust for me!

NCAAB: When I lived in the NY Metro area, I watched St. John's, UCONN and 'Cuse regularly during the season. Leaving the area left me watching more box scores than actual games. This caused my focus on them to wane and now I am relegated to excitement for their appearance in the March Madness tourney. Of course, I am going to root for them every time. I can't call myself a diehard but I do actively root for these teams with 'Cuse at the top of the list. I'm a fan of the Storm and the Orange but wearing all red and all orange doesn't go with my eyes. See you in March!

NBA: It has been the New York Knicks from the beginning and I was a diehard fan for over 30 years. I honestly don't know what to call myself now. Basketball as a sport has faded from my interest. It actually is hard to watch for me and the ownership of the NYK has made it nearly impossible to enjoy. 
I'm off the diehard bandwagon. I'm still a fan but I watch too casually to be considered a candidate for their #1 fan award! Thank you, Mr. Dolan. After our 33 year staring contest, you finally made me look away!


NFL: This is the most clear cut of all. I am a diehard New York Giants fan. My family has launched out into other areas particularly my mother and middle daughter who are strong supporters of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Part of my ManCave is dedicated to this team in respect to that but that's as far as I can go. I watch some of their games and the Steel Curtain has a special place in my heart from my youth but I am not a diehard Steelers fan. For me, there is not other football team that can replace Big Blue in my heart. (As a New Yorker, it was taught that I should root for the New York Jets too. I reject that teaching and in my mind, the franchise doesn't even exist except to borrow our arena from time to time. LOL.) I eat, sleep, and breathe BLUE. Whether they changed owners, moved out of town, changed divisions, and replaced the entire roster top to bottom, I am a New York Football Giant fan for life! GO BIG BLUE!

MLB: This one is the most difficult because even though living in the ghetto and baseball was not the sport encouraged by parents and sought after by young inner city kids, it was the one I first fell in love with. I was enamored by Rod Carew, Willie Stargell, Dwight Gooden, Lou Whitaker, Rickey Henderson, and Ozzie Smith. I couldn't do anything when a baseball game was on TV. I loved baseball first and that meant the Yankees and the Mets. I loved them both and am very well versed in their history. I had to physically fight because I loved both teams. I immersed myself in their history, greatest moments, player names and stats, etc. I knew all about them and I wore it proudly. Pinstripes AND orange and blue. When the national perception going into the nineties that the Steinbrenners were willing to buy championships hit the fan, I took that hard for some reason. They would do so at the expense of their farm system and luxury taxes and were successful and that bothered me. The fact that famous celebrities from around the world would wear Yankees blue as fashion statement and not even care about the team said something about the franchise in my opinion. It seemed to me at that time that it was more important to be known as the best than to work hard to become the best. That was something that morally caused me to drift away from the team. I began to lean towards the underdogs in Queens who always grinded and fought hard but often not winning. That was two years before their stunning 1986 World Series Championship victory and for me, it legitimized the fact that this team matched my character. In my life, I had to fight for everything and nothing was handed to me. The Mets just seemed to be more like me than the Yankees at that phase of my life. Both franchises have changed a lot from 80's versions of themselves and my feeling about them have changed some too. I never hated the Bombers no matter how often Met fans wanted me to. They were more like the wayward sibling who drifted away from the family who you longed would come back home. I love baseball and the Bombers and the Amazins are a HUGE reason why. Frankly, they still are. Am I a Mets diehard when I still like the Yankees? You can be the judge. If I have an opportunity to root for a New York team and my team is not the opponent, then it's academic. I used to be ashamed to say that but no longer and not ever again. That may not be modern but that's where I am and it feels great to be unburdened.

Update: Last year, my mother has called me and inexplicably asked me if I was watching the Patriots game and then called another time to ask me if I was watching the Eagles. Neither team was playing the New York Giants. I got no words! *shrugs* This is my life! LOL.

That's my story.


WHAT DO YOU THINK? 

What is your definition of a diehard sports fan?

How does family influences, school affiliations, and geography play out in your personal scenarios?

Who is the team (in any sport) that you secretly root for?

Are you able to equally love two teams in the same sport?

Were you a fan of the sport first or the team first?

Are you able to like two teams who co-exist in the same city and the same sport?

Have you ever went away from affiliations that were a staple in your family growing up? What was the reaction to that decision?

What scenario would have to happen to make you permanently disconnect from your favorite team?

Is there anything that could make you lose interest in the entire sport?